nevermore999 (nevermore999) wrote,

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Adventures at Books A Million!

School tomorrow, blurgh. On the other hand, Robin tomorrow! Always a silver lining.

So at Books A Million, I found a pretty good Batman encyclopedia. It was up to date as far as Batman and the Outsiders #2 (Which means Cass's entry said she was good again, yay) and had a fairly sympathetic description of Stephanie (Favorite line "Cassandra liked Stephanie a lot, but often gave her mild concussions to keep her out of danger") and actually SAID Batman didn't treat her as favorably as other Robin's and actually set her up a bit to fail. Also that she originally had more heart and spirit than skill, but grew into a very able superhero in a short amount of time. I got the idea whoever wrote the encyclopedia liked Steph. Unfortunately, like I said, it was only as recent as Outsider's #2, so we didn't get a happy ending to the entry with her not being dead, though it mentioned her visits to Cass as a ghost.

I also reread a few Fables and Y: The Last Man as well as "Going Sane" (A really nice Joker story). My most amusing find was the '40's Batman Sunday funnies, which included a little Robin cross-dressing and Catwoman trying to discredit Batman by kicking his ass over and over again, the Joker apparently unable to hit a woman (but willing to hold one at gunpoint. Strange code of chivalry) Oh, and Two Face's original origin, in which his name was "Mr. Apollo" (Oh, you Greek God references. That's Diana's shtick!) and incredibly vain, and simply a witness at the trial (and really into it because people are paying attention to him) when the acid got splashed. No split personality of course, just a lot of ranting about "Now I'm like Jekyll and Hide! Oh, I will put on a glorious criminal show for I am a showman! Hey, this coin!" Oddly enough, apparently in the forties, they seemed to be convinced they could fix Harvey's  Whatever his name was face ("Plastic Surgery works miracles these days!") But he was too crazy to hear any of it.

Oh, and also he died at the end, getting himself hanged. Like the Joker died in his first appearance! (Batman "A fitting end for a showman." That guy's sympathy knows no bounds)

Also, a story where someone masqueraded as Alfred's neice (complete with fake English accent!) who he only corresponded with. He has apparently told her he was rich or something (Oh, Alfred) so Bruce and Dick sportingly agreed to pretend to be servants. Then she claimed she was blackmailed and Alfred's like "Hey, Bruce, I need ten thousand dollars!" and Bruce is like "sure!" Which is pretty much a lot of money back then, so Bruce is a nice guy. But, The World's Greatest Detective figured out her accent was phoney. For some reason, Alfred didn't, despite actually being English. But he captured the criminal imposter and saved the day (Alfred, I mean.) He was mighty depressed about his neice being a fake though, so Bruce and Dick kindly offered to make him dinner and give him the night off. Which is incredibly sweet, but I imagine Bruce can't cook worth a damn. In fact, it's modern canon he can't even make a sandwich right, poor slob. I think Dick's okay at it though, so there is that.

My FAVORITE story was the Penguin's aunt coming to town. Apparently she had no idea he was a criminal, and he'd told her he was an umbrella salesman. He begged Batman and Robin not to break an old woman's heart and they agreed. Also, he had to reveal his real name to them, which is still his real name. "Oswald Chesterfeild Cobblepot!" "Wait, really?" "Don't make fun of me!" (No really, that was Batman's reaction.) Anyway, the Penguin's aunt is AWESOME. He got his nose, and his penchant for umbrellas from her. When a guy gets in front of her on the train, she HOOKS IT AROUND HIS THROAT and yanks him back. "Why, didn't your mother teach you that ladies go first!"

And so:

Aunt: Hello, Ozzie!
Penguin: Hey, these are my friends, Batman and Robin!
Aunt: My!

And later:

Bystander: Hey, the Penguin!
Aunt: How rude! They just called me a Penguin!
Oswald: Oh, they're just ignorant.

Still later:

Aunt: I must see your umbrella shop!
Penguin: (Oh no I can't let Batman see my secret lair!) Uh. It burned down.
Batman: No, they rebuilt it, remember, Oswald? GO AHEAD, SHOW HER IT!

And later:

Aunt: Oh dear, this umbrella is shooting bullets!
Penguin: Oh, yeah, that's a weapon I designed for the A secret weapon. Yeah.

And then the Penguin's gang thinks he's double crossed him, and then thinks the AUNT IS OSWALD ( I assume this means Ozzie crossdresses a lot) and attack her. She KNOCKS TWO OF THEM OUT WITH HER UMBRELLA and Penguin, Robin and Batman join the fight.

Penguin: How dare you attack an old lady!
Aunt: Oswald! How dare you call me an old lady!

Batman shows much joy at using the weaponized umbrellas. The aunt leaves and they take Ozzie back to jail (He reveals he has 76 escape plans. Instead of being concerned, Batman just says "You'll have plenty of time to try them out")

I find it adorable that Penguin loved his ass kicking aunt so much he didn't want to dissapoint her. I want to see this story adapted to modern times, like, now.

Also, this just adds to my point that ALL Golden Age stories were silly, but amusing, and matter not now, including Diana's.

Anyway, that's all, folks.
Tags: batman, books, cassandra cain, catwoman, crossdressing, robin, school, spoiler, stephanie brown, wonder woman

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