Adventures of Comic Book Girl

Buffy truly provides it all

2010-01-07T03:04:15Z

I just love the blatant fanservice of Angel spending the entire second part of "What's my Line" shirtless...and then CHAINED UP and shirtless....and then chained up and shirtless and being tortured in a very suggestive way by Drusilla...oh, AND gagged briefly, of course.

Now THAT is a little something for the LADIES. And the gentlemen who like GENTLEMEN.

Also, Angel may, you know, break into Buffy's room and hang around in it waiting for her when she's not there and stuff and even fondle her stuffed animals ...but then she goes and breaks into HIS room when he's not there and falls asleep in his BED. EQUALITY.

I have to ask, is it ever explained in any way why only girls become slayers? And how on earth would Kendra's parents be able to send her to a watcher when she was a youngin if she didn't become a Slayer until Buffy "died"? Did they take a test or something? And did Kendra just hang around waiting for Buffy (AND the Slayer before her, I suppose...who was the slayer right before Buffy?Is that ever explored, maybe in that Slayers comic advertised in the back of the Buffy omnibus?) to kick it? That's very morbid.

Also Xander and Cordelia finally hooked up hilariously. I knew they'd have to do it during an argument.

Also also, Angel actually straight up says he spent 100 years feeling guilty and working on his BROODING SKILLS. LULZ.

Buffy reminds me of Steph. A lot. No wonder Steph is apparently a Buffy fan.

I'm on a Twilight FRENZY. It's not over yet!

2010-01-05T22:44:54Z

Check out this asstarded quote by Stephanie Meyer (I spent the holidays thinking up substitutes for "retarded" my cousin could use since she'd gotten in the habit of saying the word. I told her it was ablist and Huntress would not approve. She came up with imbe-cique, which is like imbecile only not. I came up with this, which I might have heard somewhere else. It's way better than "retarded" anyway, because it's funner to say and it means you're being an asshole and stupid.)

“But I can’t read other people’s vampires.

(Stephenie): They do not *SPARKLE*

If it’s too close [to my writing], I get upset; if it’s too far away, I get upset.

....I do not know what to say to that. Oh. my. God.

So what is TOO close to her writing? I doubt she's run across any other sparkly vampires. What, does she get all pissy whenever she reads a vampire that supposed to be sympathetic? "THEY'RE RIPPING ME OFF!" Oh god. Now I really want her to watch Buffy. Soooo much. I want to see the look on her face when she gets OWNED.

And too far away? WHAT. I bet she gets hives reading Dracula. News flash, Meyer! YOUR PWECIOUS SPARKLIES WOULDN'T BE AROUND WITHOUT DRACULA. THESE VAMPIRES ARE YOUR INSPIRATION. THEY ARE SO MUCH COOLER TOO

The sheer stupidity of this quote makes me want to die.

It just makes me very neurotic.”

Sweetie, judging from this, you already ARE.

But this one takes the cake:

I mean, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy’s it’s pretty good, except you should think that if either one of them dies the other one will carry on bravely

...*gapes*

YES, YES THEY WOULD. BECAUSE LIZZIE BENNET HAS A GODDAMNED SPINE. AND THIS IS A BAD THING? TRUE LOVE DOES NOT EQUAL CODEPENDENCE. REAL PEOPLE HAVE LOVED ONES DIE AND CARRY ON ALL THE TIME. I GUESS IT IS A PROBLEM THAT LIZZIE DOESN'T EXIST TO SERVE MR. DARCY AND CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT HIM.

*fumes* I want to see Lizzie Bennet kick all the citizens of Forks ASS. She would, too. Lizzie is awesome unlike SOME OTHER PERSON I CAN NAME.

It's so ironic that Jane Austen wrote a independent, self sufficient and non-simpering female romance protagonist in the bloody 1800's and centuries later, we have this supposedly "liberated" woman saying it's horrible this character has too much of a spine.

But here's the best one for my Buffy loving f-list:

I'm going to get "Buffy" and watch the whole thing back-to-back, because I love Joss Whedon — I can't believe I've never seen it.

*evil cackle* Yeeeeesssss. Dooooo itttt. I want to record her face too. I want her to see how throroughly she gets owned,

Maybe Buffy wiill teach her about feminism (and by feminism I mean that GIRLS CAN DO SHIT)? I do want to force feed her Buffy and Wonder Woman and all that so she can learn how to write a stong female protagonist. But if Jane Austen couldn't teach her about femininism and the point of Pride and Prejudice sailed over her head...I'm afraid there is no hope for her. *sigh* I do so wish I could save everyone.

Buffy vs Twilight

2010-01-05T04:40:37Z

I forgot to thank weaverandom and shidoikarji26 for their snowflakes, because I totally forgot to do that when they were actually sent. Sorry guys! Thank you for the thought! *hugs*

:Lets see,...I just finished watching the Halloween episode of Buffy Season 2. It's slow going b/c my parents won't watch more than one episode a night and mom whines when I watch stuff without her. I also got the first Buffy Omnibus. I thought that wouldn't contain spoilers really, but it kind of does because Dawn was in it. But whatever, I was already spoiled about her and several other things. Lets list all the things about Buffy I've been spoiled on that I shouldn't.

1. Dawn is Buffy's sister but not really? She shows up in a episode and everyone acts like she's already been there but it's actually some funky thing.

2. Oz is a Werewolf. And hooks up with Willow, though that part is pretty duh if you see his first appearance even. But I guess they have to break up at some point.

3. Angel has to go to hell or something as a sacrifice or something.

4. Willow is gay and magic and then her beau dies and she goes on a rampage of evil. AND DIES. But comes back!

5. Xander and Cordelia hook up (I probably would have guessed that though. The way they hate each other makes it obvious they must at some point.).

6. Buffy dies at some point but then her friends drag her back from hell.

7. Spike goes good and then becomes reallly lame. Plus rape! Fuuuun.

8. Angel stalked Buffy for a looooong time. That is not cool, Angel. Feh, it must just be a vampire thing.

*Sigh* it's all TV tropes fault. Damn you.

Annnnyway. I like Season Two a lot so far. The first episode is hilarious because IT IS SO TWILIGHT ONLY BUFFY TOTALLY PWNS BELLA W/ HER REACTION AND ANGEL IS ACTUALLY CUTE. I mean, the harshness of Buffy's reaction is mostly PTSD but it's still totally awesome.

I mean, Angel is totally like ZOMG APPEAR IN YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING (though to be fair, unlike Edward, he did not enter the room and he made his presence known...like so) (Buffy is very ANGRY in this episode so she is mean- and as such I decided to have her speak in all caps)

Angel: Hi!

Buffy: GOD IT'S REALLY LATE BUT I GUESS IT'S LUNCHTIME FOR YOU HUH.

Angel: I am just here to tell you dark forces are gathering!

Buffy: I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

Angel: ...

Buffy: GO AWAY OKAY YOU WOKE ME UP FROM A REALLY GOOD DREAM. (Spoiler: Nope, it was a nightmare!)

Angel: *wibble* Sorry. PS I missed you. *VAMPIRE BATMAN VANISH AWAY* (Or as Willow would say "Aw, look, you upset him and made him do that thing where he's gone again!")

Buffy: ???

It is totally like the bedroom scene in Twilight only Buffy tells him to screw off!

And later:

Angel: Um, sorry if I upset you. Are you afraid of me? Us?

Buffy: Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second?
There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the
summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living.

(That was a direct quote. I felt really sorry for Angel and all, because she was being mean due to her PTSD and Angel is nice despite being creepy since he actually respects and values Buffy and all...but I mean, it was just so the exact opposite of Bella never moving on from Edward and causually disregarding that he's dead that it made me be like TWILIGHT JUST GOT PWNED. Because while Buffy actually DOES like Angel, clearly her life doesn't revolve around him, she spent the summer thinking of her PTSD and not him)

Anyway, Buffy does a sexy dance with Xander to make Angel jellus (poor Xander, he is so traumatized now) and he does a TOTAL EDWARD BITCHFACE AND IT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD. I swear whenever Angel pouts he looks just like Robert Pattinson's Edward pout. It's so funny.

And later, the ultimate pwnage, which was actually use in the Buffy vs. Edward thing.

Angel: *stalks*

Buffy: Y'know, being stalked isn't really a big turn-on for girls.

Me: Don't tell that to Bella.

Angel: God, I'm watching your back okay god.

Buffy: Or my neck.

Me: Or your freesia scented blood! That is his own personal brand of heroin.

Angel: WHY YA RIDIN ME.

ME: *bursts out laughing*

Buffy: I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

Angel: YOU'RE NOT AS STRONG AS YOU THINK YOU ARE OKAY.

Buffy: WANNA TEST ME? WANNA THROW DOWN RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW? C'MON KICK MY ASS. LET'S FIGHT, BITCH.

Angel: ....um, no.

Buffy: STAY OUT OF MY WAY.

Angel: HAPPY TO OBLIGE.

But then her friends get captured and Buffy is sorry she was so mean and Buffy bashes in her enemies bones which is the best way to get over PTSD and cries so Angel hugs her and it is cute.

But the pwning of Twilight...before it even EXISTED...was the best part. Buffy/Angel may have elements of Edward and Bella but Buffy pwns Bella in every way possible and Angel is cooler than Edward...even if he is kind of a stalker. But Buffy doesn't put up with his stalking and he's more polite about it than Edward and seems to have (so far) stopped it after this episode. And I guess vampires just naturally stalk people, so it's not really his fault.

Okay, so that rant is over. Just had to get that out of my system because TWILIGHT LULZ.

Also, Willow and Xander are ADORABLE. According to Scotty, Xander is a douche later, which is sad to hear. :( But maybe I won't mind, because I have a high tolerance for jerkiness in characters.

I mean, everyone was all annoyed with Harry in OotP, but I never was for a second, because he clearly had PTSD and I'd honestly expected him to crack way before this. Whenever he went all capslocks, I just wanted to hug him. See? High tolerance.

At least, that's what I'm hoping. I don't want to not like Xander. :(

Fangirl + pretty mood rings+ reviews = trouble

2010-01-04T04:50:01Z

Hey guys. I'm back. And depressed. But I don't want to really talk about it. Instead, comics!

Worlds Finest #3

So, we open up with Oracle contacting Kara. She knows Kara's back from New Krypton because SHE KNOWS ALL. Hurray! I really like this scene in general. Kara must rescue Stephanie and Catwoman...Catwoman in wearing heels for some reason. And has her top unzipped. Booooo Jamal Igle. I expected better from you. :(. It's okay though, we can still be Comic Con buddies.

Anyway, Catwoman has apparently decided to be a villian today. Booo, Sterling Gates. She's not one, okay? How are you under this impression? She has a huge ongoing series where she's explicitly NOT A VILLIAN. She may be hanging out with Harley and Ivy, but Harl's semi reformed and Ivy's always been a bit anti-heroish. And Selina never was the kind of mustache twirler who would sell Kryptonite Man to the Penguin for the monies. Where are the editors here?

Anyway, Selina randomly blames Steph for the fact Toyman captured them even though it is not her fault at all. (I guess Toyman's robot must have been the one who unzipped her suit, since it was zipped before. Who knew robots were so pervy?) But anyway...Gates? Selina and Steph are friends. Check it.

That is the ONLY good moment War Games gave us. (Other than Cass searching non stop for her BFF and Steph "really being Robin" but seriously) Do not mess with it!

Kara saves the day, and then the two girls abandon Catwoman to be tied up because of her villian-ness and the fact she's being whiny as hell. Which would be fine accept a) Catwoman isn't a villian, she's morally ambiguous b) She also isn't whiny and c) Selina and Steph are friends! You can handwave and say Selina didn't recognize Steph (yeah right, that mask hides nothing), but there's no way Steph would abandon the woman who gave her trust and friendship in her darkest moments, even if that woman randomly decided to be a villian this week.

I can understand if Sterling didn't want to read War Games, who would, but NOW I had to agonize on how to add this to Catwoman's article on the Steph wiki, since it makes no sense with the other info on there. I ended up just putting this.

Recently, Stephanie encountered Catwoman while tracking Toyman. For some reason, Catwoman had decided to be a villian that day and was wanting to take Kryptonite Man to The Penguin. She also inexplicably blamed Stephanie when they both got captured. As such, Stephanie and Kara Zor-El decided to leave her tied up when Kara rescued them both, and went off to defeat the villains without
her.

Okay, that rants over for now.

Now we get to the good part of the comic, where Steph and Kara have their plucky team up!

They totally bond over how they both trained with Batman and Kara's all "he taught me to be human" and Steph's all 'he taught me how to be a hero" and no he didn't Steph you were a hero way before he deigned to pay attention to you, but it's in character for you to think that because you don't know how awesome you are. The idea that Batman is the best person to teach ANYone how to be human also gave me the giggles.

And Kara just flat out says she misses him (I like how, when compared with Kara, Steph is the reticent and more cautious one, while Supergirl is brash and straightfoward. Steph is clearly used to being the most brash and straightfoward chick in town, but she does have a little bit of the secretive, pragmatic Bat-attitude about her, whether she likes it or not, and Kara has always had that Super-honesty and confidence thing going) and Steph kind of pauses and then is like "Me too." Awww. It's nice to see Steph actually reacting to the loss of a guy she had a complicated relationship with. Anyway, it's a very nice moment with the two of them. Kara is also all cheekily says "this is the first Supergirl-Batgirl team up! What can go wrong?" Cute. Of course, at that point they get attacked.

Kara smashes the robots head in, though. Go Kara! And Steph KO's Mr. Freeze's ice gun. Go Steph! Then Kara has to be all rude and point out she could have taken it, and Steph points out the obvious that she's just trying to pull her weight in the team-up, dangit. But they're all joking around with each other and it's pretty sweet.

Then we get to the part that I don't often understand about comics- the part where the villians are obviously about to put some nefarious trap in action and the heroes just stand there shocked. Kara? You have super speed. You could easily have snatched up Toyman while he was monologuing, before he pushed that button. Heck, he spent so much panel time acting crazy, Steph could have easily stopped him. Oh, comics.

And of course, the threat is much too large for the girls, and it's time for the MEN to come save the day! *sigh*. I know Supergirl and Batgirl are sidekicks (though Steph is really Oracle's sidekick, not Dick's at all) so the mentors coming to save them is expected, but it really irks me that it's the females that get in over their head and have to be saved. Robin and Guardian and Nightwing and Red Robin had no problem. But the instant Supergirl and Batgirl team up? Time for them to be bailed out!

Of course, maybe the girls will contribute to the day saving in the next issue. I hope so.

And another part of the issue that actually REALLY got under my skin- Dick admits he's been MONITORING Batgirl and Babs because as Damian puts it "do you reallly think we'd let you girls stay in my father's cave wihout us paying attention?"

WHATWHATWHAT.

No. I'm sorry. When BRUCE tried to spy on Babs electronically, she caught him immediately and NAILED HIS ASS TO THE WALL. And Dick is no Bruce. There's no way Dick could beat Oracle at her own game. No friggin way.

Can Babs get no respect? I expected better from Sterling Gates. Babs is the electronics expert. She doesn't get "monitored" by freaking Batman.

I really wanted to love this issue, but there were too many things that irked me- the Catwoman thing, the girls being saved by teh menz and the Oracle thing pushed my buttons the most. The fact the men monitored the "girls playing in the cave" despite the fact that YOU CANNOT DO THAT TO ORACLE.

There were parts I liked- the interaction between Steph and Kara was great, and besides the Catwoman mishap, so was the art. I liked that my gals have struck up such an easy friendship and I especially liked the opening scene with Babs casually calling up Kara and the bonding moment in the warehouse. But I was also very dissapointed- I expected a lot better from Sterling Gates, especially in regards to the borderline-sexist stuff.

3.5/5

Wonder Woman #39

Now this comic actually put a smile on my face. I sort of felt this arc dragged and got a little OOC, but this was a GREAT finale. Hippolyta snaps back into character and kills Alkyones ass dead in a Big Damn Heroes Charge with Phillipus and Donna AND tells Zeus to suck it, Achilles pulls a spear out of himself and Diana admits she's been a bit doubt ridden lately and decides some ass-kicking is in order and zaps Cottus good with her improved bracelets. Zeus admits Diana is da bomb and he's been a dick and goes off. and Diana's regained her place on the island!

And if that's not all, we get a truly chilling final panel with Ares. It actually made me excited inside!

The Amazons are back in business and so is Diana. FINALLY!

5/5

Blackest Night #6

I actually got this because there was a buy one get one free and I THOUGHT my uncle had gotten me detective comix but he got the wrong one so I'll just have to wait and get that.

Anyway, it wasn't bad? I actually sort of enjoyed it.It was all action-y and epic but why wasn't Superman flagged for Hope? Since it seems the other rings can kick out the Black Lantern rings...or is that just because Di's ring was weak? Why was it weak?) and Diana is a Star Sapphire with a truly awful costume as predicted (at least it looks physically possible, which puts it a cut above all the other Sapphire's..."clothes") but Johns actually gave Diana some props ("No one love this planet more than Wonder Woman) BUT AGH DIANA PRINCE.

Look, you can push this secret identity all you want, Johns, but it is a SECRET IDENTITY. It's not the name she was BORN with. If she's "Diana Prince" of Earth, why is Superman "Kal-El" and not "Clark Kent of Earth"? Because it's not the name he was born with! (And it would actually make more sense for the ring to refer to him as Clark Kent, because it's actually a name that was given to him by foster parents, a name he thinks of himself as- whereas "Prince" is simply a cover, and name she gave herself and she thinks of herself as Diana PERIOD.)

YOU FAIL LOGIC FOREVER JOHNS. YOUR SILVER AGE OBESSION HAS TAKEN YOU TO WEIRD LEVELS OF FAIL SO FAILY THEY REALLY FAIL.

...Nevermore999 of Earth...you have great rage in your heart....

NO OH GOD I DON'T WANNA BARF UP MY RAGE...on the other hand, I'll be on the same team as teh kitty... and Guy Gardner...

Welcome to the Red Lantern Corps.

WAIT THAT WASN'T A YESBARRRFFFFFF

Crap. Well, I'll give it a 3.5/5. Now if you excuse me, I have a bloody red mess to clean up.

Fannish things: A Batgirls fan video and I colored a WW vs Voldemort arts

2009-12-29T20:50:31Z

Hi guys- I'm still on vaykay. I'm at my Papa's vacation house he rents- they only have dial up, so Joanna and I came over to this place called Ginny and Jane E's (which yes, I have decided is owned by Ginny Weasley) to use our laptops. In my boredom, I have done two unbelievably geeky things.

I made a video about Babs, Cass and Steph and how awesomesauce they are to the tune of Ani Difranco's "All of This"...you can see it here.

The History of the Batgirls

It's a dinky little thing, and the Batgirl Y1 pictures are all blurry, but I've decided that's because of um...how it's all symbolic and stuff. Joanna asked me what happened to Cassandra after she watched this, and I had to explain. "What? She just left? And gave the lamest excuse ever."

Me: "Don't worry, At least she's not dead or being written badly any more.

Joanna: But no one knows where she is right now? Why can't she come back and be awesome and kick butt again?

Me: Someday she'll be back. Even if I have to do it myself. *scary smile*

Joanna: I HATE Comics!

Me: What?

Joanna: They get me attatched to someone and then they TAKE them away! And everyone's always dying and leaving and coming back. They PLAY with my emotions!

Me: *laughs*

Joanna: WHAT.

Me: ...you only know about Cassandra from all I've told you about her. And that one comic I read you.

Joanna: Hmmph.

So anyway, watch this movie, it crushed my cousin's dreams.

In other geeky news, I colored this Wonder Woman vs Voldemort picture that I saved from one of those WW fanart posts on Scans_Daily. I believe it's by somebody named Tim, but I couldn't find them on Google. The idea was way too awesome not to be colored. Normally I'd feel bad coloring such art because my coloring isn't all shady or shiny or anything, but this was obviously just a quick sketch for the person... they didn't even close off all the lines. I had to do that. I also had to put stars on the panties! It's a great piece of work anyway! So I'm actually quite proud of how it turned out.

It's my computer background now.

Original piece

With Stars

Without stars

Best crossover ever. I want to write a fic to go with it.

If anyone knows who Tim is or where he's located, could you tell me so I can contact him and tell him I colored his stuff? That way if he wants me to take it down, I can.

Anyway, haven't gotten comics yet. :( May be able to get em tomorrow. I'll be back around the 2nd. Everyone be good!

Merry xmas

2009-12-25T23:37:06Z

I hope everyone had an excellent xmas! My 7 yr old cousin is wearing everyone out and poor Joanna has a cold- other than that, everything's great. I love my family!

The stand out gifts I got were the Special edition DVD of HBP (Scary holographic Harry and Draco turns into Voldemort and Snape)and Season 3 of Buffy (Mom ordered me season 2, it will be there when I get home) and the usual gift certificate to the comic store!

Also, I learned my aunt still doesn't know how to spell my name.

Happy holidays, guys! Enjoy the break!

When Cass met Damian

2009-12-22T06:11:43Z

Okay, I did a fic where Damian tracks down Cass because of his mad crush on her. Of course, he has no idea he has a crush, being ten, so it's not really mentioned in the fic, but this is totally the real reason he tracks her down. Cass is not pleased with his behavior- I believe Cass would have little patience with Damian because she comes from a similar background, so she doesn't even let him have the excuse of this being how he was raised, and she doesn't excuse his attitude with his youth either, because she was on her own from age eight. So she sees a lot of the worst aspects of the assassin life she left behind in him, so she's going to be a bit harsh. Also, some of their core values clash.

MANY thanks to bluejaybirdie...she was really helpful in correcting mistakes in the fic and she helped me figure out the ending. In fact, she practically figured it out by herself. She saved it! She's awesome.

I had a hard time doing Damian. He's fun to write, but I don't think I completely get him. I haven't read all the stories with him, so forgive me if I did something wrong. At least there's no way I could get him more OOC than Tony Daniel did!

Damian Wayne wasn’t sure why he was so fixated on hating Stephanie Brown. True, he hated a lot of people. It was a feeling that came naturally to him. He often spent half the day oscillating between fits of hatred for Grayson and Pennyworth. He found himself mildly hating half the people he saved as well, what with their squealing and sniveling and lack of even the most basic fighting skills despite the fact that they lived in a place where a fight came at you every day. But Brown was different. He didn’t just despise her, he couldn’t stop thinking of her. He found himself trying to understand her. And he fantasized about killing her for far longer than was healthy.

And he didn’t know why. True, she was incompetent, but then so were half the people around him. Was it because she treated him with what seemed to be a mixture of pity and disgust? Was it because she had personally inconvenienced him with that ice thing? Or was it that she never bloody shut up?

But then he realized it had nothing to do with Brown herself. It had to do with who had chosen her.

Cassandra Cain. Grandfather had talked of her with pride. She had been such a triumph for the League. She has been perfection. Her skills rivaled his own. She could take a bullet without flinching, she had been a match for his aunt Nyssa, she had been the best of the best when it came to a fight. She had even managed to lead the League once.

And yet she had given it all up. She had chosen a girl infinitely below her in battle competence to be her successor. She had VALUED this girl who was so much lesser. Damian couldn’t figure out why. And that just made him hate Stephanie more than anyone, for daring to be chosen when she was so unworthy. He hated that he couldn’t understand it. He needed to know why.

And there was only one way to find out.

Even though he put all his resources into it, it took a surprisingly long time to find Cassandra. Apparently. She was good at keeping herself hidden He eventually located her a couple cities over, sitting on a bench in the middle of a crowded street. He leaped soundlessly onto a tree behind her. He could only see the back of her head in this position, her short black hair fluttering in the breeze. But she was easily half a head shorter than Stephanie. She was small and lithe, her arms tightly muscled. She certainly the physique of a fighter. But it was more that. It was the way she held herself. He could tell she was like him- a prodigy. The best of the best. He felt his heart race at the prospect of meeting her.

He heard the buzzing of her phone vibrating and she took it out of her pocket with almost inhuman quickness. He could see “CALL FROM STEPHANIE BROWN” clearly emblazoned on the small screen. Cassandra didn’t answer it, she simply started at the phone. When the phone stopped ringing, a mechanical voice chirped “Voicemail full”.

Cassandra tilted her head slightly, as if she were considering checking the messages. Then she said clearly “Not with you here. What do you want?”

Damian jumped so badly he nearly fell out of the tree. She had sensed him! HIM! She really was as good as they said. He composed himself and jumped down from the tree.

“I’m Damia-

“I know,” she cut him off, not even bothering to look at him.

“Of course. Well, I just wanted you to come back as Batgirl,” he said confidently.

“No,” she replied succinctly, still not look at him, but off into the distance.

“Why on earth not? Why would you give up wearing my father’s symbol? Brown is turning everything into a bloody mess without you.”

Now Cassandra did turn to look at him, her hazel eyes urgent. “Is she all right?”

“What? Of course. I mean, it’s just…she’s an incompetent slag. I mean, honestly, she was fighting this guy called Diesel, and Grayson and I came to the rescue. She started blabbering of course, but Grayson shut her up and I ran forward to take the villain out, and then he started bleeding gasoline all over the place and threatening to explode...and what does Brown do? She FROZE us! I’ve never seen such incompetence! I wanted to kill the bint, honestly. You need to come back and-“

Out of nowhere, Cassandra shot out her arm and jerked Damian into the air by his shirt collar so harshly that he gagged. Instinctively he struck out at her, but she parried his blow almost casually with her free hand and held him at arm’s length. He continued to struggle, trying to break the arm that was holding him aloft, but she was unyielding, like steel.

“You don’t talk about my friend like that. You don’t talk about killing either,” Cassandra said acidly, ignoring his protests.

“Let me go!”

She threw him a few feet. He landed on his feet with a thump. She advanced toward him and every muscle in her body seemed tense with anger. He realized she could have thrown him much, much harder. But even though it might not seem like it to a bystander, she was only using the slightest amount of force. Every movement she made indicated she wanted nothing better to beat him to a pulp, yet she was restraining herself.

“I know what you are,” she said simply. “I know I should hate you.”

“You don’t even know m-“ He cut himself off, realizing to his horror he was repeating what Brown had said to him.

“I’ve heard enough. Your…the way you talk…” she gestured at his body and he knew she was talking about the way his movements spoke to her, “makes everything they said about you …right. You like to kill. You like to hurt …in both languages. You look down on those who help you. Who are heroes.”

“I-

“You didn’t listen to her. So she had to save you. You didn’t like the way she did it. But she’d do it again. She’s a hero. You aren’t,” Cassandra turned away as if that settled the matter. “Go away.”

He felt anger and indignation rising in him at her attitude. She was treating him like he was nothing. Not even bothering to fight him properly! He was Bruce Wayne’s son. Nobody treated him like that.

He lunged at her, determined to force her to fight him. She spun around just as he propelled himself off the ground, and he managed to get a good kick to her chest. She stumbled back, almost following over. But before he could even begin to think about another blow, she’s regained her balance and jabbed him in the chest with a hand like a striking cobra. He was on the ground before he knew it and she was keeping him pinned down with her foot on his chest.

“Stupid,” she told him simply, glaring down at him.

“Why won’t you fight me?” Damian spat, struggling to get up, but Cassandra pressed her boot down a little harder in response.

“Just did,” she said.

There were about ten different ways he could break her ankle and, at least five ways he could slice it off with the knife on his person, if he was fast enough. But would he be? And besides, he couldn’t help but respect her. She could not only overpower him, but she did so casually. All her skill just made the question all the more pressing.

“Why did you leave?” he burst out. “And why did you make your replacement Brown of all people?”

Cassandra stared at him. “Just explained that. Stephanie is a hero. She cares . She never gives up. And she needs a chance. I trust her.”

Damian snorted “But her fighting-“

“Your body might talk faster, but what it says is ugly,” Cassandra snapped at him with her eyes flashing. “Stephanie’s says good things. That’s all that matters to me. “

Damian was getting tired of her insulting his body language. “Oh, boo hoo. I killed people that deserved to die. Well, at least I know what I’m DOING. The League taught me-”

The pressure from her boot increased so much he almost couldn’t breathe.

“They taught you nothing. Not how to be Robin,” she told him calmly.

“I AM Robin,” he protested angrily.

Cassandra shook her head. “I knew Robins. You aren’t one.”

She finally took her foot off his chest.

“Stephanie…isn’t the one messing things up. You are. Every day you’re out there…and don’t get it. You want to kill? You want to hate? Look into their eyes next time you do. See terror…then nothing.”

She backed a step away. He sat up warily. “You still haven’t told me why you left.”

She snorted, not looking at him.

“I thought it meant something,” her hand drifted to her chest and he knew she was talking about the Bat symbol. “But…it became about him. After the drug. All I cared about was… getting him to be my “father”…so desperate…and that’s not what this was supposed to be about…and he maybe never cared. About the good. Otherwise he would have let any of it happen…with me. With Stephanie. With you. “

She sighed and turned to face him. “Gotham doesn’t need me. It needs her. Hope. I need…I need my own symbol. I need to teach others. I was going to do that once before. Now it’s time again.”

She stopped suddenly and he could tell she was surprised she had talked so much, especially to him.. He wondered if it was the biggest speech she had ever made in her life. Nah, he had heard she’d been pretty chatty when she was drugged.

“Can’t say I really understand,” he snorted, getting up and dusting himself off. “And I thought you’d understand me…coming from where I come from. Killing and fighting is who I am.”

To his immense surprise, her expression softened at this.

“It isn’t. You can be more. If you let them help you,” she said softly. She knelt down a bit so that she was at his eye level.

“You have a killer’s instincts, kid. Don’t suppress them…divert them.”

He could tell from how she said it that she was quoting somebody.

She gave him another faint smile and straightened up again.

He didn’t quite know what to say. If anyone else had done said anyone of those things, he would have scoffed and dismissed them. But it was hard to do that to her for some reason.

“I’m going,” she announced after a moment of silence, preparing to turn away.

“Any more sage advice?” he called after her sarcastically.

She seemed to consider the question as if it were serious.

“Listen to them,” she said, and he knew she was referring to Grayson and Brown and the rest. “It’s worth it.” Then her mouth tightened. “Don’t, and I’ll show you a real fight.”

With that, she disappeared into the crowd.

“Yes, well,” he called. “I’m looking forward to that! And I’ll show you a real fight too! With knives!”

She didn’t answer, and he’d lost her in the busy street. With a snort, he spun around and stormed off. He didn’t know why he’d been so interested in her. She was nothing that great, really. She’d refused to fight, and all she’d done was give stupid lectures and acted like she was better than him. And to think he’d thought she was something special! She was just like the rest of them!

Except…

She had beaten him. She’d done it without even really trying. She’d done it…casually.

And she seemed self assured about the whole thing…and so dismissive of him. Possibly she was…better than him at a few things. Possibly.

Whatever. She may be a good fighter, but he was surely smarter than her. The girl barely knew how to talk or read! So why should he take her advice?

Why should he?

With this, he pushed any idea of Cassandra Cain coming back as Batgirl out of his mind. He also stopped obsessing as much over Brown now that he knew Cassandra’s truly idiotic reasons for choosing her as a replacement. Brown could keep her incompetence to herself and stay the hell away from him.

Cassandra had now earned the same mild hatred he reserved for everyone else. He attempted to fantasize about killing her a few times, but those fantasies always ended with her overpowering him, so he stopped that right away.

Cassandra Cain may have thought that she’d gotten to him, but she hadn’t.

***

“That was a nice takedown of Killer Croc there, Damian. I really liked how you pinned him down by the neck at the end. The strike you used looks a lot like one the League of Assassins uses for, uh, throat ripping purposes. But you converted it into a move that’s entirely non-lethal. I’m impressed,” Grayson told his sidekick happily, giving his usual cheerful stream of encouragement as the duo zoomed home in the Batmobile.

“Mmmm.”

“Robin, are you listening?”

“Yes, Batman, of course I am. The strike is called Tiger Claw.”

“Just checking. And I know what it’s called, Damian, don’t worry,” said Grayson in an amused voice. “You used it well.”

“…Thank you for noticing.”

There was a short, shocked silence.

“…You’re welcome,” Dick replied, slightly incredulously.

Damian snorted, and looked out the red tinted window.

No, she hadn’t gotten to him at all.

(Tiger Claw is a real strike for ripping out throats. I found this out by googling "rip out throat martial arts" Since it was on the same page as the palm strike, it's probably very basic, but we can pretend it's really rare and complicated in the DCU. Orrr you can interpret Dicks "Duh, yes I know" as being because it IS the most basic move ever and Damian's just being even more of a condescending ass by not thinking Dick would know it)

News from the snowed!

2009-12-21T17:35:28Z

We've had eight inches of snow for the past three days- that's the most we've ever gotten here since I was a little tyke. Now the sun is out and it kinda makes me sad.

Mom stayed home for Sunday and wanted to go to New Moon (I don't understand her) but (to my delight) the theatre was closed, so I dragged her to Books A Million instead and purchased the first Buffy omnibus.

Also the power went out Friday night, and I read ghost stories to Mom and Dad to entertain- but they both fell asleep. Damn old people!

I also started rereading the Sorcerers Stone to Mom because it's the only book I could find. but she seemed so entertained and delighted by everything we've kept reading.

I kept throwing snowballs at Mom whenever possible when we went out- I'm evil. I

just looked up my grades for the semester online- a B in math, an A in everything else (an A- in my stupid Internet class for some reason, even though I did everything perfectly in it) Woot! I got a 93 on my final math test even! My GPA is 3.6.

We're going to Florida for Xmas as usual- Oh! Mom gave me an early Christmas present- The complete anthology of the Batman movies (including Batman and Robin, heehee). We already watched this little history of Batman thing on one of them- and one of the guys said "Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman are gods in American Mythology." Take that, stupid comic store guys!

Anyway, we're going to Florida, I'm either spending Xmas day in Atlanta with Joanna, or going with Mom to visit our 97-year old friend. It's very selfish, but I hope it's with Joanna. Then we're going to spend the rest of the time at Bond and Jean's house in Florida.

Right now, I randomly had the idea for the most hilarious Harry Potter/Twilight crossover ever and I'm writing it up. It's all very evil. Also trying to come up with an ending to my Cass and Damian fic, but that's not going well.

Anyway, that's the news!

In which I spork overrated Harry Potter fanfiction by a wanky author

2009-12-20T07:56:37Z

Recently on fandom wank, there's been a bit of a to-do about the author of a certain fanfic being well, a jerkfaced con artist. He also has a sparrow for a son. A lot of people liked the fic, and I saw it recced on TVtropes once and tried to read it, but the first chapter was just so OOC and full of genderfail that I couldn't get past it. Which is shame, because the premise- what happened with Dumbledore's Army at Hogwarts while Harry and co were off on their exciting camping trip- is one that has been begging to be ficced ever since DH came out. Now, I read a lot of sporkings of bad fanfic (for those not in the know, sporking is like satirical fic commentary inserted in bad fanfics. You're about to get an example of how it works) because for some reason it entertains me. I am itching to spork this little chapter, because so many people seem to like the fic- even a lot on fandom_wank- but I found the first chapter annoying. So i was wondering if anyone agreed. And I just like ranting. It's called Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness.

So basically, it opens with Carrow lecturing the class on stuff like how breeding with muggles causes children to suffer retardation, deformation and anti social tendencies. How does Carrow know all these big words? She didn't seem very bright to me. Seamus bravely points out Voldemort is just a wee bit anti-social. I don't know how Seamus knows what anti-social means, since Hogwarts doesn't teach Psych. Maybe his dad's a counselor or something. Anyway, not a bad start.

“The Dark Lord carries the blood of the great Slytherin himself through generations of powerful wizarding families such as the Gaunts and the Peverells,” she hissed between clenched teeth. “More than powerful enough to counteract the pitiful influence of any Muggle... if you choose to believe disgusting rumors spread by petty, small-minded, Mudblood-loving fools. But you are certainly proof that no ordinary slum-dragging witch can marry filth without consequence!”

Wait, who spread these rumors? Only Harry, the gang, and Dumbledore know about this stuff, Dumbledore specifically kept it under wraps, really. Harry did mention Voldemort's dad was a Muggle to the death eaters, but I doubt THEY'D be spreading those rumors...

To Neville’s surprise, Seamus seemed to take the attack on his mother in stride, nodding as if her answer had been perfectly reasonable. “Then if we’re to be takin’ the example of the Gaunts and keepin’ it all in kin, can I ask when you and Amycus’ll be expecting?”

WhoawhoawhoaWAIT. Seamus knows about the GAUNTS? What the hell? Only the Trio, Dumbledore and Voldemort know about the Gaunts! And none of those people blabbed! Also, Seamus suddenly has a very strong Irish accent. Much like the fake one the author has.

A collective gasp sounded through the classroom, and Neville slipped his hand into his pocket, closing his fingers unobtrusively around the handle of his wand. Seamus had brought whatever punishment was coming on himself, without a doubt, but if it was going to be too much, Neville was prepared to fight to save his fellow Gryffindor’s life. The look on their new teacher’s face certainly suggested it might come to that.

...and already these don't sound like Neville's thoughts. Neville's thoughts would probably me "SEAMUS WHAT OH MY GOD HE'S INSANE", to be honest. Also, I always got the impression from Neville's little speech at the end of DH he was supposed to have been the first one who back talked the Carrows.But I suppose that's open to interpretation.

Okay, so Seamus gets Cruciated, and Parvatis cries all over Neville because that's what chicks do. Neville is a rock though. Because...because Neville, okay? He certainly wouldn't freak out or plead for Carrow to stop. What Neville are you thinking of? And then they all gather around Seamus at the common room, and they're glad he woke up, because I guess Madam Pomfrey couldn't exist. Ginny is in character so far, she's all like "what the hell, Seamus, and don't worry, I know healing, Mum was always patching up ma brothas

" Neville lifted his head from the cauldron where he had been carefully stirring in the Mandrake, one drop at a time, allowing his instincts to tell him when the texture was exactly right.

“You have a broken wrist, a few cracked ribs, a sprained ankle, and more bruises than if you’d been used for practice by every Beater in the school. That’s not to mention a knot the size of a Snitch on that thick head of yours, two black eyes, a few wand scorches, and a mouth that is just starting to look human again. I suggest you lie back and think about Gryffindors having a tendency to be brave to the point of stupidity, and then we need to talk about what you originally had in mind and make some decisions.” The tone of cool authority in his voice surprised him, and he stopped, blushing and looking back down into the green mixture. “If that’s okay with everyone.”

First of all, yo, Neville is good at Herbology (meaning tending plants and identifying them and all that stuff) he kinda sucks at Potions, thanks to Snape. I wouldn't let him mix anything. Second, Neville is not a medical expert. Third, Neville does not not lecture people in pretentious language.

“Wow, Neville,” gushed Colin Creevey, “you sounded just like Harry there for a minute! It was like the DA again!”

Are you kidding? Harry loves talking back to sadistic teachers! He LOVES being brave to the point of stupidity. He would be high fiving Seamus, actually, no, he would have stupidly tackled Carrow the minute she started torturing Seamus and gotten himself killed. Harry also does not give cool authoritative lectures. He either goes all CAPSLOCKOFRAGE or glares at people. He never coolly lecture the DA, he was like "You guys, here's this spell. OMG YOU'RE ALL AWESOME. ALSO I HAVE FACED TEH DARKNESS!

(snip: The Trio is gone, this isn't Umbridge they're dealing with)

“But this is why we had the DA in the first place, isn’t it? Because Harry knew it might come to this?” Parvati asked, and Neville wondered hotly why everyone seemed to be looking to him, even Ginny, who seemed to him the far more natural successor to any kind of leadership in Gryffindor.

*nods* That's because she is. Here are a few choice quotes from DH:

One of the kids who tried to take the sword was Bill's younger sister. She and a couple of friends got into Snape's office...

Note the emphasis on Ginny. This could possibly be because the information was relayed through somone who knew Bill, so of course it would be all about Bill's sister...

Yet later, Harry asks Phineas Nigellus:

"We've got a couple of questions to ask you...about the sword of Gryffindor."

"Ah," said Phineas [...} '"Yes, that silly girl acted most unwisely there."

"Shut up about my sister," Ron said roughly.

"...Exactly what claim did the Weasley girl have upon it? She deserved that punishment, as did the the idiot Longbottom and the Lovegood oddity."

Sounds like Ginny led that little expedition. The Trio gave no indication they were focused on Ginny, yet Phineas automatically pointed her out as the leader, and Neville and Luna as the followers. And even later...

"Ginny had been banned from going to Hogsmeade."

Ginny. Not Neville. Not Luna. Ginny was singled out here. Why? Couldn't be because she was, I don't know, THE LEADER.

Harry deduced that Ginny and probably Neville and Luna along with her, had been doing their best to continue Dumbledore's Army.

Once again, it's Ginny he's getting all the news about. Ginny is the one clearly leading the effort. And why not? She's a Weasley. She's Harry's gf, she picked up a lot from him. She has a knack for decieving people and making trouble from Fred and George. She's talented and brave. She's also got self confidence in spades, which Neville most likely still lacked at the beginning of DH, unless he got a magic injection during the summer.

The thing about Neville was that the dark events at Hogwarts probably forced him to grow some self confidence. But not overnight, not alone. He probably grew into himself through the year with Ginny and Luna's aid. He wouldn't be ready to step into the leadership role immediately without some time to toughen up. When you have a leader, you need someone who believes in themselves. Neville still doesn't completely. Ginny already had a traumatic event that forced her to learn to be confident in herself, so here she is, ready made to be a leader. Why would you choose Neville over Ginny? (snip, there's a bunch of stuff on exotic spell knowledge, and it's actually all pretty interesting.Actually there is some good stuff in the fic like this:

Neville and Ginny stared at one another, startled by this sudden burst of exotic spell knowledge that had broken out, and then Ginny giggled. “I don’t know about you, Neville, but I feel rather plain all of a sudden.” He couldn’t help grinning back. “Yeah. I mean, my family’s just been, you know, wizards. Normal old British wizards. Tut tut, conjure you a cuppa?” He put down the bowl and waved his wand, summoning an empty teacup from across the room and lifting it to her in an extravagant motion, pinky broadly outstretched.

Ginny curtsied with a flourish, imitating an arch, aristocratic drawl that everyone instantly recognized as a viciously accurate exaggeration of Draco Malfoy’s cultured pronunciation. “But certainly, daah-ling...”

and: One, we all become good little followers of You-Know-Who.” He put down one finger. “I don’t see myself doing that. Even if I could live with myself, Gran would kill me.”

See author? You can write Neville in character!)

Anway, Neville makes a very stirring speech about how they must face the Death Eaters and it's all very un Neville like. Author, he does NOT HAVE an amazing amount of self esteem at this point! He was FORCED to take a level in badass when Ginny and Luna left him, and though working with them against the Dark Order! That's why the change happened in his character at the end of the book! Because he forced himself to step up when the girl more suited to be a leader had to leave- which is a whole lot more inspiring than him magically becoming super loquacious, capable and self confident overnight. It's like Dumbledore said "it's those who have the mantle of leadership THRUST upon them that do the best." Neville is a stunning example of that, and you're TAKING THAT AWAY, Author.

And then...

“All in favor of Neville taking over for Harry as leader of the DA?” Ginny’s voice carried over his protestations, and Neville was shocked to see heads nod all around him.

*headdesk* Remember all those quotes? This is why. Let's add one more from the snake killing wonderboy himself:

"We lost Luna at Christmas and Ginny never came back from Easter. And the three of us were sort of the leaders."

The three of them. Not "I was voted leader and Luna and Ginny were my flunkies, yo." They all worked together in the leader posistion, with all indications being that Ginny was the most leaderly, though she never made it official. It wouldn't bother me if it wasn't a) another example of fandom shafting female characters, especially those who are named Ginny. Suddenly Luna isn't a co-leader, and Ginny exists to prop Neville up when she's actually the one best suited to be leader here. Ginny gets called a slut for dating three boys, a Mary Sue for daring to be a snarky love interests and now her CANON accomplishments- leading the DA- are brushed aside so Neville can look good.

And lets not forget- The trio, Ginny and Luna love Neville and know he's brave and awesome from OotP. But what about the other Gryffindors? All they know about this kid is that he's bumbling, forgetful and kinda fails hard at Transfiguration and Potions, and it's clear from a mile away he has self esteem issues. Would they look at him as their leader because he made a stirring OOC speech? No, as far as they know, he isn't really competent or fit for the role. Why do all the Gryff's suddenly think Neville is the greatest thing since sliced bread?

And Ginny, Neville and Luna WORK as a team of leaders. Neville balances Ginny's impulsiveness and temper, Ginny balanced Neville's tendency for self flagellation (remember when she told him to shut up when he dissed himself), Luna's got the good and out there ideas and oddly good perception, and both Neville and Ginny balance out her kookiness. Why have just Neville call the shots when you can have a good TEAM leading you.

And then Ginny: She grinned, showing the dazzling white smile that had laid boys all over the school, including the famous Boy Who Lived, helpless at her feet.

...Um, wow. Not sure I know what to say to that. Ginny Dominatrix?

Bright, fiery Ginny, the last Weasley left at Hogwarts. Cool, exotic Parvati, her dark eyes utterly trusting.

Oh, Parvati's EXOTIC. Because she's INDIAN, see. Not white, therefore an oddity. And since when is that girl cool? She giggles at the drop of the hat.

Tempestuous Lavender, her best friend, standing at her side more like a sister than Parvati’s own twin, and just as ready to lay down her life.

*jaw drops* Tempestuous? Wait, because she went out with Ron? She spent most of her time eating his face, and buying silly necklaces, nothing temptress-y about that. ...godDAMN when did Neville get so pretentious?

(Ginny invades the boys dorms to talk to Neville, because Ginny's weird like that)

Just because I was the first one to say something, doesn’t mean – you would have figured it out, I know it. That doesn’t make me the leader. I can’t be the leader. I can’t do this, I can’t take that kind of responsibility, I’m not good enough.”

And Canon!Neville fights back!

She tilted her head at him, seeming to give the matter serious consideration for a few seconds, then spoke, her voice lightly tinged with an edge of sarcasm. “You know, you’re at least as tall as Ron, your voice has changed, and I think you shave more often than Harry, so it really confuses me.

Ginny: You're A MAN NOW! I'm just a silly girl, i can't be leader! And Neville is possibly taller than Ron? What is he, Hagrid sized? Ron is pretty damn tall. Neville is short and pudgy!

“Well, that would seem to indicate that you’ve got a working set of what they do, so I don’t see why you constantly refuse to use them.” Neville blushed fiercely. “Ginny!” (

Neville): .. You're so OOC!

Srsly, I don't see Ginny as the kind of girl who equates balls with leadership ability, considering she hates it when guys tell her what to do or open doors for her.

"And refuse to use them?" For what, having sex? Waving them in people's faces?

And people can grow tall without balls. Take a science class, Not!Ginny.

(Neville cries about his parents He blames himself for them being tortured, despite the fact he was like, one. Even Harry isn't stupid enough to blame himself for not stopping his parents death, Neville.)

“Harry’s got half the wizarding world petting him and calling him a hero and consoling him about his parents.

*Tries to expunge image of people petting Harry*

I'm sure that makes up for him having a psychopath after him and constantly torturing him and killing people he loves.

“I saw you fight the Squad in Umbridge’s office, and the Death Eaters at the Ministry, and again at the tower. You’re not nearly as bad as you think you are most of the time, but when you fight ...” she shook her head slowly, “you’re amazing.”

*tries to remember what Neville did at the Ministry* He dropped his wand. and broke it..screwed up at one point..dragged Hermione around...poked a Death Eater in the eyes with his wand which was cool...got Cruciated...and Ginny was here for NONE of this AMAZING prowess. And in HBP...he ran at a barrier and got whomped. The end.

Ginny exists in this fic to tell Neville praiseful lies, clearly.

A hand over his mouth cut him off, and now those sharp brown eyes were only inches from his. “I’ve watched you both. Harry fights bravely. So does Ron, so does Hermione – hell, we’re Gryffindors, we all fight bravely. But you’re something else. I’ve never even seen anyone in the Order who fights with the kind of rawness and intensity you do. It’s a little scary, honestly.”

Also completely untrue. Canon says Neville fights like everyone else- bravely. And kind of suckily. But we love him anyway. When did Ginny get time to do all this watching?

Ginny came up behind him again, draping herself across his shoulders and placing her hand flat against his chest where he had gestured. “I think that thing is you, Neville. It’s who you really are – a brave, powerful wizard, the son of two famous Aurors and a courageous soldier in your own right – and if I’d been cooped up and shoved down and hidden that long under such a heavy load, I’d probably start screaming if I had half a chance to get out too.”

*stares* This is getting kind of sickening. Ginny really does exist in this fic to praise Neville's manliness. (Neville's gonna be the leader, even though canon says he's not! Hurray! Time for Herbology and sexism)

This is Neville's future wife, Hannah Abbot. Clearly, this means he gets to be a condescending douche to her.

They had been partners in Herbology since the first year, but for some reason, she was ignoring him today. Neville would have been willing to write off her sudden iciness to the endless incomprehensible vagaries of female behavior, but that was not an option under the circumstances.

.... .... .... WHO IS THIS JERKASS AND WHAT HAS HE DONE WITH MY BELOVED NEVILLE.

Normally he'd ignore her because she was just a GIRLLLL and girls just are incomprehensible and do stupid things and have mood swings and ovaries and stuff like that. ONLY MORE PRETENTIOUS

Granted, Harry had his own "Girl's confuse me" freakouts in OotP but he was CUTE about it, clearly just a socially inexperienced teenage boy trying to figure things out, and Hermione was always there to set him straight. He wasn't a pretentious douche about it! And he OUTGREW it by HBP, when the object of his affection was Ginny, who he understood perfectly. No more "girls scare me". Just "this girl is a person like me, and she's really cool and I like her". Not!Neville is just being a sexist ass.

He poked her again, this time shifting his notes so that they were almost directly in front of her. With an annoyed little sniff, she looked down at what he had written.

Everything okay?

Her look was more than answer enough, and she crossed her arms, keeping her attention resolutely on Professor Sprout, who was demonstrating the proper protection needed against both teeth and burns when harvesting leaves. As if by accident, the wand held loosely in her left hand brushed against the parchment, and the words changed. Picking up where Harry left off, are we?

Oho, she means Ginny, see? Because Ginny is just a slutbag, everyone knows that. But due to hilarious hijinks, Neville thinks she means the DA and responds in kind, his answers somehow perfectly suited so that it could mean Ginny as well.

And so Hannah sets Neville on fire. Nope, you didn't misread that.

Hannah did not respond, but merely flicked her wand again. For a moment, it seemed as though nothing had happened, and then he felt the front of his robes grow warm, and realized in a single moment of near blinding terror that his pants were about to catch fire. Desperately, no longer caring whether anyone noticed, he pointed his wand at himself and yelped “ Protego!” The burning sensation stopped instantly, and he thought he caught a tiny, vindictive smile on Hannah’s lips as Professor Sprout turned again

..tiny bit of an overreaction, isn't it! Suddenly, killer canaries are tame. And Hannah and him haven't agreed to date or anything, so it's not like he was actively betraying her. There would be nothing wrong with him going out with Ginny. But Hannah's not over making attempts on Neville's life! She starts throwing crap at him next! and calling Ginny a bitch. A RED HEADED bitch. Damn those gingers!.

“You and Ginny Weasley!” The next pod hit him full in the face, and Neville dropped his wand as he toppled backwards, clutching desperately at the foul-smelling tendrils that were shoving into his mouth and nose, choking him. “She was up there for over an hour last night, you git! Did you think no one would notice ? No one would say anything?!”

“ Expelliarmus !” Still on the ground, fighting for air against the increasingly ferocious plant smothering his face and neck, Neville heard a howl of indignation from Hannah as another voice shouted out the disarming spell. He recognized it instantly, but was not sure if it was the best or worst person that could have come to his aid.

Yeah, Hannah's sitting there screaming at Neville and choking him to death.

“ YOU!” Hannah’s cry was pure murder.

The tentacles had choked off his air completely now. His attempts to pry them away grew weaker with each passing moment, and as blackness closed in around the edges of his vision, the last thought Neville was completely aware of was that it shouldn’t have been any surprise that the craziest Death Eater out there was a girl.

Because WIMMINS IS CRAZY AND ILLOGICAL AM I RIGHT!

Though I do agree Hannah's behavior is Death-Eaterish. Choking to death the person who cheated on you! Bellatrix would be proud! Tho maybe she heard Not!Neville's thoughts and what a douche he was, and decided to do the earth a favor by ridding it of the imposter and getting the real Neville, who is a brave sweetie who isn't a sexist dick. In that case, gooooo Hannah!

(Neville wakes up and his throat and nose felt as though they had been scoured out with steel wool because Hannah is a psycho. and And third, that he had apparently been completely unconscious through the most unlikely event of his entire distinctly odd time at Hogwarts: two witches fighting about him. )

So unlikely that it never happened. Apparently Ginny and Hannah have been beating each other up. Instead of saving Neville from dying and all.

Both also sported hair and robes that were badly disheveled, and Ginny had a rapidly swelling and darkening black eye that complemented Hannah’s bloody lip.

Why Ginny didn't stupefy Hannah or immediately get the plant off Neville instead of doing stupid expelliarmus is beyond me. If Canon!Ginny saw someone attacking her friend like that she would have HEXED THEM INTO OBLIVION. Bat bogeys, baby. And rescued Neville ASAP. But this is clearly not Ginny, as we've established. Not!Ginny gives the most convoluted explanation ever about why Demelza hates her (because she liked Harry and Dean, and Ginny got them both, but Not!Ginny prefers to make things more complicated that that.)

Neville blinked very slowly. “Completely obvious. You were -- weren’t -- were with Dean, who Demelza did -- didn’t -- did like, and you were -- weren’t -- were with Harry, who she also did -- didn’t -- did like, so Hannah Abbott nearly kills me after trying to set my pants on fire in Herbology. Makes perfect sense.”

Ginny looked at him the way that a parent looks at their beloved but rather dim baby.

Not!Ginny, you are also NOT HERMIONE.

“Demelza told Hannah – and every other girl in the school she could get a hold of – that you and I were snogging for hours last night, when, like I’ve told her now, we were actually looking after Seamus and making plans for the other thing ...which, by the way, she said yes to, and she’s going to tell Ernie and the others after dinner.”

Little by little, like the sun breaking the horizon on a badly overcast morning, the truth began to come clear. “And you ...” --he looked at where Hannah was sitting, looking deeply embarrassed with herself -- “wanted to kill me, because only a complete git would try to steal Harry’s girl the moment he left, and you thought I was a better friend to him than that.”

...Not!Neville is dumb. Also GINNY IS NOT HARRY'S PROPERTY. Also, none of this is an excuse for Hannah being BATSHIT INSANE.

The two girls exchanged a look that spoke volumes in a language of which Neville was completely ignorant, then Hannah nodded. “More or less.”

There was a pause, and then she turned to Ginny as though killing her had never even crossed her mind. “Are they always this dim?”

Ginny gave the matter a moment’s thought, then shook her head. “No. Remember that time last year when Ron looked like he’d been attacked by a flock of birds?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s exactly what had happened, Hermione Granger had done it just after the start of the Lavender fiasco, and they’re not always this dim. If they’re Weasleys, they’re worse.” She patted the older Hufflepuff consolingly on the shoulder. “There’s always hope.”

...What Hermione did to Ron was a much lesser offense.

Hermione did not set Ron of fire. She did not attempt to strangle Ron to death. She did not attack Lavender and attempt to kill her. In fact, Hermione didn't blame Lavender at all for the incident, or so much as insult her. Hermione was smart enough to realize Lavender was not responsible for Ron being an ass. She even felt SORRY for Lav when the two broke up.

Hermione attacked Ron with some birds that gave him some minor scratches. She also tried to restrain herself from doing it before hand, and snapped, rather than flipping her shit immediately. Also, Ron and Hermione had agreed to a date, and Ron had been acting mean to Hermione all week. Ron deliberately kissed Lavender in front of Hermione to make Hermione jealous and angry (conciously or subconciuously) and they both knew this.

Neville, meanwhile, has apparently made no committment to Hannah and doesn't even know she likes him. Hannah flips her shit over circumstantial evidence not aimed to hurt her.

The damage Hermione did to Ron was akin to her swiping him a couple of times with her nails. She did not beat him unconcious, try to set him on fire, leave a huge bruise on his neck or try to kill him. She did not get into a fight while he lay there dying.

And Ron? Was rightfully pissed at Hermione afterwards. He did not automatically forgive her like Neville does here. And Hermione probably knew what she did was wrong. Hannah doesn't seem to be remorseful at all.

The canary incident shows Hermione has bad temper that she needs to work on. This incident? Shows Hannah is a raging psychopath and ready made to be an abusive wife.

Canon!Ginny would not be comparing this person to Hermione. She would be beating the living crap out of her.

(more of Neville being stupid)

A bell rang inside the castle, and Hannah jumped. “I’ve got to go, I’m going to be late for History of Magic.”

Then she was gone in a flurry of black and yellow robes, and he was alone with Ginny, who was gathering up her bag, where, he realized, she had probably dropped it in the course of saving his life.

SAVING HIS LIFE. Remember, it was in danger. BECAUSE HANNAH ALMOST KILLED HIM. But that's okay, she just a girl. Girls are crazy, and it's funny when they almost kill their crushes, because women can't REALLY hurt men and be held responsible!!! They're so silly!

God, this fic is sexist.

“No problem. My fault anyway, really.” She smiled sheepishly, patting her hair back into place. “But I guess Hufflepuff knows now, and Parvati told her sister this morning, so that’s Ravenclaw, too.”

Yes, Not!Ginny. Your fault for being such a hobag. Not Hannah's fault for being a psycho. Or not!Neville's for being as dumb as a rock. (They discuss the DA Neville is mysteriously leader of)

“Great. Oh, and one more thing ...” he called after her, and she paused. “Make sure that when it happens, you remind me to see that Hannah has something to throw. That girl doesn’t miss.”

Ginny gave him a very odd little smile. “Well ...” she said, “... most of the time.

don't know what IT Not!Neville is talking about. Or what Not!Ginny's saying at the end. Maybe she and Hannah are having lesbian sex behind Neville's back and that's really what all this was about.

So, that's the first chapter of Dumbledore's Army and the whatever. I'm sure if I could get bast the blatant sexism and OOCGodmode!Neville, I'd appreciate it for the masterpeice it is.

I'm told it only gets worse: Snape is a sadist who kills students (yes, I'm sure Dumbledore's portrait is way cool with that. And that must be why Snape let Ginny, Neville and Luna hang with Hagrid instead of actually punishing them! His sadism! Yeah, Snape's a jerkface and all, but not a complete monster. Also, if that were true, no way would Gin have agreed to naming her kid after him- nor Harry, when he found out),
Neville gets mad at Harry for not being badass enough (SERIOUSLY) and Terry Boot is Tireseus Wolf and has colbalt eyes...yeah, okay.

AND? The guy claimed he MADE Neville into a BAMF! I'm sorry, Neville is already a BAMF, he doesn't need your help. He was way more of a BAMF in the actual Deathly Hallows than he is here, and even in OotP and PS. His BAMFness is amazing due to his CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, which you have conveniently skipped here. You have just made Neville into a Marty Stu, and I don't use that term lightly. He doesn't need that. He's already awesome.

And in the guys sequel, we have this little gem

Hermione getting raped on a sacrificial altar whilst Ron was forced to watch her and be torn to pieces with a knife, at the same time that everyone BUT neville and Seamus gets killed in the most horrific way possible
....
....
.....
.....

Hermione...raped...killed..Ron...watches.

*goes psycho ala Hannah Abbot*

DIE FIC DIE!

This author doesn't deserve one person reading his stuff! And he claims his fics are better than canon? He needs to be hit over the HEAD with Deathly Hallows. Other than being a filthy con artist and sociopath, he is a CANON RAPIST! Unforgivable.

I honestly don't see why anyone read these. That is all. Spork over. Nev out, bitches. Out of this fic forEVAH

Girl Comics- the good, bad and the blogosphere.

2009-12-18T05:10:20Z

The name does put me off a little and seem a lot condescending- "look! This comic is written by GIRLS! Isn't that SPECIAL? Look, we are progressive!!!" On the other hand, after reading various posts around the blogosphere thanks to parsimonia 's excellent posts on WFA.... my opinion has softened.

First of all, there's no way this is trainwreck on the proportion of Marvel Divas like some are claiming- we have a really rad Amanda Conner cover instead of the hypersexualized Campbell one, we have a great list of creators instead of promises of "sudsy fun" and instead of Joe Quesada saying "silly wimmins, why do you read if you think it's sexist? Not that we're sexist or anything. That's all in your pretty little heads", we have Jeanine Schaefer, who is clealy really into promoting women in comics and makes several intelligent comics. She even bothers to give an explanation for the title:

Marvel.com: And what's the origin of the name Girl Comics?

Jeanine Schaefer: Much like with the origin of the STRANGE TALES anthology, we combed back through Marvel's old titles to come up with a name that would be a little wink to our publishing history as well as tell people at first glance what the comic is. This was the first name we came up with, based on the old romance title of the same name, but I put everyone through the wringer coming up with every name possible just to make sure-and in the end, GIRL COMICS has the feel we're going for. I mean, usually the women in Marvel editorial are all "Very Serious Business," clearly, but we wanted to have some fun with the perceptions people would have.

Which I guess I can buy.

So even if the title and the idea that Marvel female writers have to be isolated into their own anthology irks me- Jeanine has a comment on this too: Well, we have a pretty big roster of female creators here now, so I don't think this is something we'd want to do all the time because then it gets into marginalizing ourselves. We become "the other" and can only exist in anthologies where there are all women and that's the opposite of what I want to celebrate with this - just look at this list of creators:

Kathryn Immonen, Marjorie Liu, Devin Grayson, Ann Nocenti, Trina Robbins, G. Willow Wilson, Stephanie Buscema, Amanda Conner, Jill Thompson, Louise Simonson, Valerie D’Orazio, Colleen Coover, Molly Crabapple, Nikki Cook, Ming Doyle, Abby Denson, and Carla Speed McNeil.

That is some AMAZING TALENT. Devin Grayson- who's told some pretty good despite being lambasted due to a crappy Nightwing run- will be returning to comics for the first time in a while as well. And I'm not sure Ming Doyle's ever really gotten a crack at mainstream comics, and I loved her entries at Project Rooftop. Meanwhile: Amanda Conner, Trina Robins, Jill Thompson, Marjorie Liu (she did a fantastic NYX mini)- I've seen their work and it's AMAZING. And I've heard nothing but good about Immonen (her Runaways work withstanding) and G. Willow Wilson.

What's the best thing is that this looks to be really ACCESSIBLE and FUN. Great stories about stuff in the Marvel Universe with great creators. You guys know I've had a hard time getting into Marvel (Though I just ordered a She Hulk trade for Xmas and I'm purchasing an Incredible Herc one tomorrow maybe) and this looks to be a series I can acctually pick up- just cool stories with (hopefully) no stupid stuff and continuity snarls. With this list of creators, I wouldn't be able to resist checking it out anyway.

So I hope that this anthology does reach out to some women and guys and they aren't deterred by the title, as legitimate as that deterrence may be- because these are some great creators and their work deserves to be loved.

Reviews: Secret Six, the Unwritten, Booster Gold, Supergirl, Power Girl

2009-12-18T04:24:40Z

The Unwritten #8: It's bad that Cosi reminds me of me at nine and ten, right?

See, when I was ten, Harry Potter was my only escape. I had no friends at school. Home life pretty much sucked. I absolutely adored Harry Potter, though. I loved to pretend to myself that it was real- that I was really a misfit who would someday get a letter and go to a magical school where I'd have amazing adventures. I didn't really believe it (like Cosi seems to) but it was nice to wish. It spoke to me- it said that nerds are cool, even nerd girls, that if you persevere and try hard and just truly love others you can conquer evil, that things will get better and you will find your place- It was the only thing I had, so naturally I was pretty obsessed and the other kids picked on me for that. Calem in particular picked on me a lot, and one day he just said a bunch of things to me and ended it with saying something bad about Harry Potter and I just snapped, ran around the table, and stabbed him in the back with the pencil I was holding.

At least I didn't claw at his eyes while yelling spells, and I apologized immediately afterwards (because he started crying, and when I begged him not to tell, he agreed, but of course a former friend of mine who'd took it upon herself to tell, and I got suspended for two days) The point of that antidote is that this comic actually has a pretty freakish basis in reality- kids will cling to fictional worlds and defend them if they really truly need to believe in something more. Clearly, Cosi's pretty crazycakes, but I seriously identify with the basis of her feelings- you just really need fantasy sometimes.

The Unwritten continues to be spot on in the way is examines how stories affect people's lives. 5/5

Booster Gold #27

I'm glad the back up is being reinstated soon, because Jurgens really can't seem to know what to do with Jaime- he's just kind of there. It's really boring. Like this issue was really meh. Seriously,can't Black Lanterns come up with better ways to screw with our heroes than schoolyard taunts?

Ted pulls the whole "Wait...Booooster...I'm being controlleeed..." and makes Booster hesitate- and what does he do with that hesitation? He simply punches him and then gloats about it. Doesn't even knock him down. Shouldn't he have used that opportunity to kill Booster or something?

Anyway, they set up a special funeral shrine for Ted at the end of time and it's all very sweet and kind of boring. Though Michelle's back. in Coast City just before it was destroyed (I had to look up on the internets what's so special about Coast City. Oh comics.) That's interesting!

Parsimonia's review of this issue is the bomb and she links to a post that shows us how Ted/Zombie Booster is JUST LIKE TWILIGHT in a Growing Up Cullen style.

2/5

Secret Six #16

This issue wasn't as good as other issues have been- but it was decent. Now Black Alice's DAD is sick ? Did she poison him? Is her phantom mom still around? Also she thinks Ragdoll is HOT. WHAT. Some snazzy Alice outfits and supehero themed strippers, but other than that, not much going on.

3/5

Power Girl #7

Oh hey, a Wondy villian (who hasn't ever been seen post crises anyway) is treated as a joke (though it is Blue Snowman, how else to treat her) and then killed. That never happens! Vartox is amusing though, as was this comic. It wasn't GREAT or anything and PG still seems kind of incompetent (she let Snowman get devoured, she multiplies the villain...) but it was decent a fun. I'll stick it out till the end of this arc and then decide whether or not to drop the series.

3.5/5

Supergirl #48

Ugh, Fernando Dagnigo. I thought that guy who did the Alura issue was subbing? We discuss Lana's illness- she doesn't know what it is. I suspect is has some pretty sinister origins and it might not be just an illness..Supergirl's cop friend is in trouble and we get a nice little recap of Banshee's origin (which is good, because I didn't know it) and...OMG, that's the cover of Linda Danvers Supergirl #11 on Detective Friend's Banshee wall! That made me smile. In fact, the version of Banshee Supergirl turns into at the end of the issue looked like Matrix!Banshee to me, though I'm not sure it was meant to be. She had a Matrix style belt anyway. And saying "hello, Siobhan, it's been a few years..." I just thought "Linda!" But I highly doubt that. It was fun to have the nostalgia anyway.

I'm really interested in why Kara turned into a Supergirl!Banshee and started acting like she knows Siobhan-I expect that'll be explained next issue. Nice to have a good break from the crossovers to just tell a nice story of Supergirl vs and interesting villain.

4/5

That's all for now- I've got some more posts planned- a couple sporkings (I've been reading Breaking Dawn- don't judge me, I got bored, and I CANNOT find my library books! Agh. Anyway, I'm going to do a scripting and make fun of it- also I want to decimate the first chapter of a highly overrated Harry Potter fanfic) and a comment on Marvel's Girl Comics. Also, working on a fanfic- when Cass met Damian!

Red Robin has some awesome?

2009-12-15T23:32:53Z

Beautiful Beautiful Red Robin cover art...with Steph.

Supremely awesome. Phantom!Timmy in particular is ADORABLE. Sigh. I miss Adorable Tim.

As much as I imagine this event will be mostly them bitching and figting at each other- and I am SO over that- the pretty cover art and the STEPH!!!!<3 makes me look forward to it anyway. and maybe against all odds those two will patch thing up. I think this might even be a crossover, since Miller said Tim would be appearing in Batgirl before the year is out. I imagine it will be like this:

Tim: STEPH HOW DARE YOU STILL BE A HERO I EXPRESSLY FORBADE YOU.

Steph: Bitch, please. I see you have replaced me with Tam Fox. That's okay, I replaced you with an easily kidnapped civilian too.

Tim: RARGH I HATE YOU. Oh, Bruce is lost in time.

Steph: Oh cool, do you have proof?

Tim: I DO BUT I'D RATHER MOPE ABOUT IT AND NOT SHOW IT TO YOU.

Steph: That helps your argument. WELL I HATE YOU TOO.

Tim: YOU LEFT ME FOR AFRICA!

Steph: YOU LEFT ME FOR SUPERBOY

Tim: SCREW UP!

Steph: EMO

Tim: DUMB BLONDE

Steph: BROODING BRUNETTE

Tim: YOU ARE LIKE BETTE KANE EXCEPT WITH LESS DIGNITY

Steph: YOU ARE LIKE EDWARD CULLEN ONLY WITH LESS SPARKLES.

Tim: ...that's low.

Civilian: Guys, crime?

Tim: HELPING PEOPLE ISN'T MY JOB ANYMORE.

Steph: ....

No actually, they'll probably beat each other up in addition, and at least in the Yost issue, Stephanie will not bother to defend her self and just cry while Tim beats on her and tells her how evil she is.

But I can dream!

Holy shit Dexter

2009-12-14T03:16:36Z

Right, I watch Dexter. Don't think anyone else on my f-list besides schmevil does, but shiiiit I just have to post about the season finale.

Dexter just did women in refrigerators. And I didn't see it coming for some reason. Despite the obvious foreshadowing and the fact Dexter is a serial killer who kills serial killers so obviously there was a serial killer who was going to target Rita eventually...

I just thought... you know. Maybe Rita would survive the attempt and find out about Dexter. That would be interesting.

Gaaa, I hate women in fridges. On the other hand, this really shakes up the status quo of the show. Dexter's might cut and run and try to start over, he might shut off all emotional ties, he's going to have to raise three kids by himself and the murders going to be investigated, and Deb just found out Dexter's brother happened to be a serial killer, so now it's going to be hard for her not to suspect Dexter of being murderous, even if she loves him so.

I never liked Rita that much anyway. She was fine, just way too sweet and she was always getting upset over something Dexter did then she forgives him and is super accepting and loving and it got the show was starting to get into the rut there. Now it's all shaken up and WHO KNOWS WHAT'LL HAPPEN.

Yet I still hate the, um "heroes" wife being murdered for teh angst. Naked. In a bathtub full of blood.

Oh, Dexter. You always keep me on the edge of my seat.

In other news, I'm watching Buffy. Just finished the 8th episode of the first season. AND OMG. Buffy/Angel is sort of like Edward/Bella/. And by sort of, I mean almost identical. Only more awesome. Because Buffy is actually cool and thinks for herself- and has a crossbow and almost kills him.

There's even a line that's equivalent to "I LIKE TO WATCH YOU SLEEP". Stephenie Meyer, you totally ripped it off. ADMIT IT.

Super Mega Batgirl review the fifth

2009-12-12T01:56:08Z

WHAT TIME IS IT IT IS BATGIRL TIME.

Oh my god you guys. This issue. I was like :0.

Anyway, let's get to it!

Pages 1-3: Stephanie is bringing the snark to the supervillian as usual. Has he ever appeared before? I don't believe so. A new enemy to add to the wiki! Maybe Steph can start building a rogues gallery. She kinda already has one, as the Cluemaster, the Baffler and Scarab are all really Steph villians. Of course, this guy doesn't have much potential as a good long term villian, other than being amusing in his stupidity and having the gross power of having gasoline for blood.But whoever his boss is...ooh, it's probably Black Mask though. Eep.

Page 4/5: "Batman! Finally!" "Well, now I'm just offended." Oh Steph. Never change. Though seriously, how rude. Stephanie was handling the villian just fine on her own. Dick and Damian should go find their own fight instead of barging in on other peoples.

6: Especially if they're going to say Dick is going to be a butthead and tell Stephanie to "stay behind" him . Yeah, this is her fight, Dick, Just because you're wearing Batman's outfit doesn't mean you have to emulate his "girls have cooties" attitude. And way to charge into situation without bothering the ask the girl who was apprehending the villian how his powers and stuff work. And STEPH is supposed to be the reckless one here?

7/8: Yikes! Stephanie freeze-dried the ten year old! And the villian and she put out the fire but Dick is going to ignore than because Damian experienced discomfort (...not as much discomfort as he would have if he exploded, but you know...) Babs points all this out because she's awesome, but apparently not awesome enough to point out to Dick that he and Damian were also pretty reckless and maybe they should have listened to Steph before barging into the fight. Just listen to each other guys! Work as a team! FEEL THE LOVE!

Also "Agh she froze Damian!"
"Are you telling me you didn't enjoy the quiet ride home"
"...I did. But that's not the point!" Hahaha

Also from Babs "Gosh Dick! Sorry I haven't spent more time trying to train a murderous little twit!" You tell him, Babs! Seriously, Dick. Your protege is kind of a psychopath. I don't think you have room to talk over Babs training someone who's kind of reckless.

9: HA I KNEW IT! Damian totally has a kiddie crush on Cassandra. Because she is the only one who can beat him up. Oh Cass, please show up and beat him up. He's sassing your BFF! And yes, Damian. WE WOULD ALL LIKE TO KNOW WHERE CASSANDRA IS. AND WHY BABS AND STEPH AREN'T CONCERNED ABOUT HER.

10: Interesting. Dick is being a total...dick here. But it's pretty clearly a product of grief over Bruce, so it's much more excusable than oh, what he did to Cassandra. "Bruce isn't here, anymore." Ouch, Babs. But true. Stop trying to be mini-Bruce, Dick! (I like that we're finally dealing with the shared grief those two must feel- at least in a roundabout way)

"I don't care what Alfred said". Um, Dick? You cannot override Alfred's word. Alfred's word is LAW.

11/12: Hahaha! Steph is wearing an eggplant sweatshirt again! With STRIPES. Oh, Steph. And i love that she got a job to help cover her school books and stuff. Oh course she'd have to, she's dirt poor. And gum on that book! Ew! Glad to see Jordanna isn't entirely a one dimensional antagonist. She seems to genuinely care about Francisco's welfare and is trying to keep him from making bad decisions. And we also see why he hangs around her in the first place- she is the only one in his life who cares

13/14:Babs is crankypants because Dick is such a dick and that causes awkwardness between her and the Gage man.

BABS IF YOUR DISABILITY IS SPARKLY THAT'S CALLED TWILIGHT STYLE VAMPIRISM. YOU MUST EXPUNGE IT FROM YOUR SOUL BEFORE NARCISSISTIC GIRLS THROW THEMSELVES AT YOU.

15: "Your Dad is an asshole? So is mine. We have so much in common let's make out. OHGODTHATWASOUTSIDEVOICE."

...I love Steph so so very much. And this Francisco guy is much more interesting now that he has a criminal dad! And he seems nice. I vote she go for him, mostly because their relationship will likely involve her repeatedly saving his ass and that's always fun. Plus she needs a guy who's not a total whiny jerk. AND maybe their respective dads could team up and terrorize them. Fun times for all!

And it's called "FACEPALM" Steph. Not forehead slap. You should know this, Babs does it all the time when you're around. Like this:

16: Damian IS a creepy little omen fanboy. But he can't really help it can he, what with his name and all. Haha and Steph chews him out. "I'm in urban camouflage mode." Oh, Damian.

And yes, Steph is not interested in vengeance because she's not a loser and can motivate herself in other ways. Just kidd... huh, actually I think most of the heroes I like aren't in it for the vengeance or because of some they lost someone close of them. Babs, Cass, Wonder Woman, Jaime, Bart, Steph...they're heroes because it's the right thing. (Well, Cass also wants to make up for stuff, but isn't that just another way of saying it's the right thing?) And that's why I love them.

17: OMG YES. Steph is about hope, people! She is endlessly optimistic and she keeps hoping and trying no matter what. She never tries to get people to fear her, she just tries to do her best to keep people safe. That's what make her so damn cool. THANK YOU for getting that, Bryan Miller!

Though I don't think Damian can help but look at your chest, Steph. It's his eye level and he's too above it all to make proper eye contact.

18: No Batmen or Robin's waiting for me to screw up. I know Steph, story of your life.

Aw, and she's still hurting over Tim. Steph, don't let his emo get to you. He's just a loser right now.

19: Speaking of Tim, Stephanie is not comfortable with stalking a boyfriend that doesn't stalk her back.

...you know, coupled with Babs' sparkly disability, this issue is reminding me a lot of Twilight. And Booster Gold reminded parsimonia of Twilight! What is it with DC Comics and Twilight this week,

Steph wears granny panties! Knew it! She must have the pushup bra on her, since OBVIOUSLY she is wearing a sports bra like under her costume. It's probably in her utility belt. IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES THAT REQUIRE CLEAVAGE.

20: "This isn't rejection hedging. I know rejection hedging."

Oh Steph, sweetie. You sure do. *shakes head sadly at a certain Boy Wonder. NO NOT DAMIAN*

A slip an a trenchcoat are the only things that fit Steph. Uh, nice wardrobe there, Babs. And haha, I knew it! Francisco already needs to be rescues from a scrap. I love it when guys have to be the damsel in distress in the relationship. It's nice to see the trope reversed once in a while.

Stephanie Brown and the kung fu barstool of JUSTICE! Girl has always been good at using her environment.

21: OH MY GOD NO STEPH GETS SHOT IN THE HEAD! NOOOOOO! STEPPPPH! *sobs*

Obviously she only got grazed. But that poor girl, she has the worst luck. Hey, didn't Cassandra also get shot in the head in an early issue of her series. Apparently Cassandra has spawned a new Batgirl tradition, just like the "death wish".

Man, what a killer ending. You can see poor Francisco going all :0 in truck even. And I really like how Steph's text box fades out.

This was another excellent issue all around. Some hilarious dialogue, and good pacing and suspense near the end. Excellent characterization of Steph. I'm glad Steph was lucky enough to get a write who gets her so well!

Still gonna knock some off for the continued questions about Cass and Charlie, but a little less, because man, this was so good.

4.75/5

belatedly doing shane's meme when I should be studying

2009-12-06T21:30:43Z

"Take the first sentence of the first post of each month of 2009. The result is the summary of your year."

Jan: I've actually been back a day, but I spent my Internet time yesterday obsessively updating the Steph wiki.

Feb: Woke up with a bit of a sore throat today. It's gotten much better, but I'm still milking it for all it's worth.

Mar: So, it was a snow day today, and I've been reading Robin to mom, and being reminded of the happy fun times of the good ol' days.

Apr: Getting really sick of high school. Dear God, let it be over with already! Also, starting to have nerves related to my upcoming AP exams.

May: I kind of got onto an impassioned rant about Supergirl on s_d.

Jun: I'd like to direct everyone to innerbrat's lovely post on the murder of George Tiller.

Jul: So, my job at the comic shop is going well.

Aug: I'll seperate all this stuff into sections, so it will be easier to read. Female Force Comics...totally suck, as far as I can tell.

Sep: My laptop's back!

Oct: Sorry I haven't been very active lately- I've been busy with the college workload and working on personal stuff.

Nov: went to the Lit club Halloween party as Supergirl- it was a whole lot of fun!

Dec: bla, I'm studying for math finals and stuff but I keep getting distracted by like...funny twilight recaps and other stupid shit.

...Huh. Well, off to study.

Steph Wiki Two Year Anniverary!

2009-12-06T21:00:26Z

Today is the two year anniversary of the Steph wiki. I, uh, never actually acknowledged the one year anniversary last year, because I didn't know what day it was, but a few days ago I was reminincing on how I always go to Florida for Xmas and always end up editing the Steph wiki for one reason or another while I was there.

In 2007, I edited it because WTFInvisibleFrankTieri!Spoiler had appeared in Gotham Underground, and I was hoping madly and foolishly this meant Steph was going to bust out of the fridge.

In 2008, I edited it to include Steph's appearance in Teen Titans. She had busted out of the fridge and now she was actually appearing in books that weren't Robin.

This year, I'll probably be editing it to include Steph's World Finest Team up in Supergirl. As Batgirl. She has her own title and everything now.

A lot can change in a year.

So I realized I must have moved the wiki to it's proper wikia home shortly before Christmas (before it wasn't housed on a regular wikia site, it was on a really crappy place that didn't even show up on google).

Heh, I remember at first my submission was rejected because "she has an article in the Batman wiki"

and I was basically like "rrrrarggh look there is a Cassandra Cain wiki, so Steph should be able to have one too, and also the stupid Batman wiki is never updated, I've already SET UP the freaking wiki, so there's definitely enough information about her to make one and I just need to move it over here, and she is not just an extension of Batman (because I say so), and she she is an icon for the feminist comics book community I mean haven't you ever seen Girl Wonder and she was the first female Robin SHE IS IMPORTANT DAMMIT GIVE ME MY WIIIIKKKI." And they were all "geez, okay fine".

Anyway, looking up the wiki description the wiki was officially moved to the main wikia site today two years ago. So I figure I should mark the occasion!

I have met so many amazing people through this wiki. I have met k9feline who is a super-sweet person who whipped up a super amazing chronology page and loves Ted Kord and the JLI, I have met stephsvoice who makes truly amazing live action Spoiler videos with a rad costume and is also super nice and I have met LevraiMrX, who is a french Spoiler fan who seems really nice with the aid of Google translator, and has donated so many scans to the Steph wiki that it is freakin' amazing and I am super grateful. He also gives me summaries, which I always have to edit or completely redo to make comprehensible, but this is great because otherwise I would never ever do issue summaries because I am way too lazy and they are way too boring. He motivates me!

Honestly, I've never met a Steph fan who wasn't a pretty awesome person. That's pretty great.

I think if I hadn't put so much energy into the super steph scan series and the steph wiki, I really wouldn't like Steph as much as I do. She would still be one of my favorites, but probably roughly equal with Cassandra and Babs- instead of THE favorite. I did the scans series because I noticed there weren't nearly enough Steph scans on s_d, and I did the wiki because I realized there were no Steph websites, and the poor girl deserves somethin'. I got the idea for it from the Cass Cain Mainframe Ruthborn at superdickery started. I figured if Cass had a wiki, her crimefighting buddy should have one too. Anyway, putting all this time and energy and research just requires me to think about Steph a whole lot and be reminded of all the things I love about her, so she ended up being the fave. I just got swept up in the whole thing!

Anyway, I'd just like to celebrate that the world's most comprehensive Stephanie Brown site has been kicking for two whole years. The site has seen an awesome female character who basically had everything bad that can happen to women in comics happen to her- dying for the angst of the male characters, being used to make they guys look good, being forgotten, tortured and fridged- rise from the ashes and come busting back into the world of comics and then get her own title (exploring her relationship with an awesome character like Babs no less! And a title that is specifically fun and positive and girl-friendly so far!) and prominent role in the DCU. This is amazing, and I can only hope the good trend continues for Steph and other female and minority characters in comics- and heck, comics in general.

And I'd like to thanks k9feline, stephsvoice, LevraiMrX and scottyquick for their contributions to the site. Let's hope for another great year! Viva Steph!

To round the whole thing off, here's a great splash page by Jamal Igle for the upcoming World's Finest teamup.

Beautiful piece as always. Love the Gotham night sky. Heh, I either read Steph's expression as trying not to crash into Kara or "Oh god, I'm gonna see up her skirt- Oh, THANK GOD she's wearing shorts!"

I can't wait to read that issue!

blaaaa comics and stufffff

2009-12-06T01:57:58Z

bla, I'm studying for math finals and stuff but I keep getting distracted by like...funny twilight recaps and other stupid shit.

Also I found out I have 250$ I need to spend before the semester ends next week @ Highsmith or it all goes to waste. A bit less than that now since I bought pizza for everyone but. I'm going to buy a crate of food or something. Maybe a dozen and I'll donate some to Manna Food Bank or something. I have problemmmms.

Anyway, on the comics front:

Blackest Night Wonder Woman:

My hands down favorite moment has to be when Max is sitting there and Wonder Woman is all: he wants me angry. And you see her coming and glowing pink it just says Love.... and then BAM SPLASH PAGE WONDER WOMAN CHOPS MAX'S HEAD OFF WITHOUT EVEN BOTHERING TO LOOK AT HIM.

Wonder Woman: He never did understand me.

Oh hell yeah, Wonder Woman just casually pwned Zombie!Max while still feeling the POWAH of LOVE. Badass.

Though I'm sure the whole Diana=love thing has to do with the main event and Johns just gave Diana love because "Love is a girly emotion and Wonder Woman is a girl." (I mean, look at the Star Sapphires. Oh god, they had better not stick Diana in that atrocious uniform) Rucka makes it work here. After all, Diana was gifted with a loving heart.

Nicola Scott rocks the house as always, and while some of Diana's dialougue/monologue did feel a little stilted and sacharrine (Max, you fool. Love can't be taken, only given.) The moments of badassawesome made up for it (the cool use of the lasso- in a perfect world, this would mean for once Wonder Woman gets to save the day in a major crossover...but no, that will not happen. Nice for Rucka to give us a look at what coulda been, though...the soldiers sticking around because it's their job...Max's body trying to shoot the guards..."Life is much more that seven simple colors"). This read like a nice Wondy one shot- not so much like part of a miniseries, and it was definitely a quick read- but I liked it.

4.5/5

Cinderella: From Fabletown With Love #1 and 2:

I picked this up because I always liked the concept of Cindy as a superspy (I've read the Fables trades- I grew bored when Snow White retired to raise the kidlets) and I've heard this was pretty good. It was definitely decent, I really enjoyed the opening of the second issue when Cindy did her little flashback to the first time a guy came at her from behind with a knife and she got a truly badass smile going...and then of course, ownage happened. It's always fun to see all the little Fables running around. A fun title, if a little exposition heavy. I'll probably get the rest of the mini.

4/5

Empowered: The Wench of a Million Sighs

Darrin bullied me into getting this. I've been hesitant on Empowered. It looks mildly amusing, but god, I can't stand the art style, with the fish lips and constant sweating. And it's supposed to be great satire and char development and all...but I think I might be uncomfortable with the softcore porn-y aspects, I don't mind that other people like it, but it's not really my thing.

This was okay, but more alien belt guys narration was more annoying that funny and al lot of the jokes fell flat with me. But it was nice to see the hero kick ass at the end? The constant blocked out swears were kinda annoying too. I can understand that the trades are probably better, so maybe I'll look over them in the store or something

2/5
That's really it. I kinda wanna do a rant post of HP fandom misoginy or Twilight, but I shouldn't while I should be studying, so that will have to be later. So...later!

oooh, meme

2009-11-30T18:23:23Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Sunday I put money in sanasorus 's expired parking meter (14 points). In March I punched obsessive0514 in the arm (-10 points). Last Thursday I gave katescorner a kidney (1000 points). In May I helped missmayze across the street (6 points). In June I helped looking2dastars hide a body (-173 points).

Overall, I've been nice (837 points). For Christmas I deserve an Easy-Bake Oven!

Sincerely,
nevermore999

Kate, I want a thank you for that kidney. looking2dastars , it was worth it. No one will ever suspect you killed Kreisberg now.

I had an Easy Bake oven when I was eight. I'm psyched for my new one!

Sparkles and Thanksgiving and Comics, oh my!

2009-11-30T03:07:45Z

I had a pretty good thanksgiviing. My cousin came over and we hung up. Oh! We saw New Moon. I put of glitter to be extra sparkly and giggled through the whole thing. Soooo many shirtless hot guys around my age. DRAMATICALLY taking their shirts off. It was worth it just for that.

Actually, the middle was pretty good. Bella was terribly mopey and self absorbed as always, (SULKING FOR THREE MONTHS ON END. ABANDONING HER FRIEND IN HOPE OF GETTING GANGRAPED SO SHE CAN SEE EDWARD TELLING HER TO BE CARRRREFUL. GOD I FORGOT THE HORROR) but I was reminded by how I really liked Jacob's sweetness and banter. Too bad he turns into a sexual assaulting loser in the third book and a creepy imprinter in the fourth (so I heard). New Moon!Jacob is too good for Bella anyway, so she and Edward can have each other. And I also liked all the non-Edward vampires. I forgot how cool they all were!

Also the CGI wolves and the end fight were nice. Oh, though since we need to focus on Edward's fight, Alice gets taken out by a single chokehold, and I'm pretty sure she was supposed to be the best fighter in the books...I can't remember...Anyway, despite being a hundred years old and having all the time in the world, vamps don't know basic martial arts techniques like bending a dudes fingers back when he grabs your neck instead of uselessly clutching his arm.

The rest of it was bad. But giggle worthy! Edward's first appearance was hiiiii larious! Super slow motion walk and dramatic music like he's a fashion model. Funny.

What saddened me was a little girl behind me declaring the movie her "ALL TIME FAVORITE after TWILIGHT!" and telling this other girl "Don't rank it, because I know you only just like it, not love it, and the fact you don't love it hurts me personally."

...noooooo brainwashing our youth into liking stalker bad boys and being useless damsels in distress WHY.

When I was little, I felt that way about Harry Potter. For this little girl to feel fangirlish glee for Twilight...MAJOR step down in terms of everything from plots to characters to strong female role models and good messages.

Now that that's over, comic reviews:

Wonder Woman

Huh. On one hands, the plots and characters are interesting. And Donna gets a good showing.

On the other hand, Diana mopes uselessly in her jail cell and I'm really tired of that sort of thing. She's WONDER WOMAN, dammit. She should be FIXING the problem of Themyscria, she should be fixing the gods, saving the Amazons, saving her mother, getting shit done, not waiting to be executed in a jail cell because "oh no they have my mom". Well, don't let them TAKE her.

Honestly, I don't know anymore. I still LIKE the title okay, and Gail says the self doubt thing will stop with issue 40 (not to mention we'll be seeing some villians be reinvented and all kinds of awesome. I can't wait)- but I don't understand or agree with the direction of the title, and it feels like these plots are dragging out and there's so many OOC things going on with Diana and Hippolyta and the Amazons....I just want this mess to be fixed, and for the Amazons and Diana to be awesome and epic again.

But Diana vs. Cottus promises to be cool, so there's that. Maybe the next issue will make stuff clear and whatnot.

3/5

The Web #3

This issue was very blah and I don't care about the Web at all, but um...Steph was in it so I got it. She helped the Web install some software. Yaaay. Oracle is keeping an eye on the web based hero and making him go on the right path since she's Oracle and all. She controls the internet.

Apparently the Web doesn't know what Facebook is, though. Which is weird, considering his name and modus operandi.

Anyway, Steph got a decent showing and was competent. Although it was very weird seeing her let Oracle say "leave it to the professionals" to someone, but not heinously out of character, since the Web is a douche and not caring that he's putting people in danger- so she wouldn't have a problem telling him off, regardless of any parallels to her own history. And she said "dude" a lot, which rang weirdly to me.

2/5

Detective Comics

Another good issue. As expected, Kate was a victim to the military "Don't ask don't tell" rule. The scene where she drops her ring and says "I'm gay" is pretty powerful. Also, she saves herself from the mugger going "I'm a soldier! I'm an goddamn-"

*BATMAN APPEARS*

...I wonder if that was on purpose.

Anyway, seeing Batman simply be nice enough to help Kate up before grappling off- and how awed Kate was by his amazing presence (which beautifully shown by the contrast between Batman and the art style) was a nice change from the typical "Batman save hero, hero is inspired" origin. However, I hope there's a little more to it, as it should take something other than seeing Batman to wanting to put specifically a bat symbol on your chest.

The question back up- only one thing registers- NO BELLY WINDOW LEOTARD WRECK ON HUNTRESS! Gaudy shoulder pads instead, but I'll take that over the stupid, sexist,impractical,
OOC and even more ugly looking belly window.

Though I'd prefer it if they go back to the BOP fully covering white cross costume, this one is a winner too if they ditch the shoulder pads or replace them with a cape...and maybe make the zipper end above the crotch.

At any rate, THANKS Cully Hamner! You rock!

5/5

World Finest #2

I decided to get this because I might as well, since I'm collecting the last two issues and all. It was very meh, but I kind of expected that, I'm not particularly fond of either character. Damian's amusing sometimes, but the Guardian's just boring. It was an okay read though.

2/5

S'all for now!

News, reviews and all kinds of nonsense

2009-11-19T03:40:22Z

I wanted some new Cass icons so I made a bunch:

In other news, guys, according to the latest ten answers by Didio on newsarama Max and Bart will be interacting lots in the upcoming Kid Flash series! This makes me super happy. I missed those two SO much. Impulse flashbacks are always good (even if there's a new Impulse now. pfah.)

Also, Steph's action figure has been solicited. i can't wait to get my hands on it. I want a Spoiler and Robin action figure too!

Alsoalso Lee Garbett updated his blog. Apparently #5 has a new inker, and she really makes Garbett's art look a lot cleaner. I'm psyched!

And reviews:

The Unwritten #6:

Okay, you have to love a book where the main characters reaction to a Frankenstein Monster telling him stuff he doesn't want to here is "Yeah, well you have a defective brain! And that's in the book! That's canonical!" Tom just said canonical, oh Tom, I love you.

Oh and also there is much suspense building and Tom nearly gets killed and the more magical literary characters appear and it's all very exciting.

5/5

Booster Gold #26:

A "meh"issue. I missed the Jaime back up. There was a nice scene with Diana. and I love that Booster wanted to thanks her for killing Max in his feneraly speech. He completely should have, that would have been the best funeral speech EVAR. It should have been like:
"So Di, thanks for killing Max. The rest of y'all suck. Especially YOU Batman! Guy, Ted loved you even though you were a dick. Oh, and Babs Ted loved you even though you were WITH Dick. Ted rocks, peace out, love Booster." But Jurgens seemed to forget Diana DID offer to help Ted.

Anyway, other than that, there were standard Black Lantern shenanigans. At least it was nice to see Rose and Daniel again.

2/5

S'all!

Batgirl iconses!

2009-11-18T20:57:47Z

Lots of 'em! Fortunately for me, I just got some better quality scans donated to the wiki courtest of LevraiMrX (My scanner scans things way too dark and unclear... I don't know what happened to it that made it do this all of the sudden)

So I have tons of iconses! Come and get 'em!

.

Thaaaat's all!

My GOD YOU GUYS

2009-11-18T04:18:55Z

I totally forgot about this zine:

sharpest-rose.livejournal.com/1117413.html

I still haven't ordered it! And now there's a second edition out. But it doesn't have Steph on to cover anymore, as adorable as the cover is. But! Now I have remembered and I'll get this for x-mas!

And Mary Borsellino has an LJ how did I not know this... apparently I did since I linked to it in the Fandom section of the wiki but I just forgot or didn't notice what it was...

Anyway, I friended her and she friended me back! Hi, Mary!

Mary is the curator of Project Girl Wonder and wrote the great paper "A lot like Robin if you close your eyes" and all KINDS of awesome.

I'm really going to have to remember to order this...I can't believe I forgot before.

Silly Sixties Batgirl

2009-11-16T21:03:21Z

So, I have watched like... five or six episodes of the third season on the Adam West Batman show. I'm watching the third season because if Batgirl's in something, it's bound to keep my attention.

It is hiLARIOUS. And it always amazes me how Alfred can be awesome in ANYthing. And despite some objections I will bring up, there are some cool things about Yvonne Craig Babs!girl. First, I love how her red hair is part of her mask and she actually has short dark hair. Disguise saavy! I love how she's always ninja vanishing on Batman and Robin and they're like "Where did she go?" In this show, Batman is no ninja vanisher, he says goodbye to Gordon and walks away. But Batgirl always vanishes without anyone seeing, leaving them all stunned and midsentence, EVERY SINGLE TIME. I just love that she's allowed to be sneakier than both Batman and Robin combined.

And it's made clear how smart she is. She's an expert on history, and Batman has to go ask her as "Barbara Gordon" about North Asiatic history and stuff, she figures out all the Riddler's riddles without a problem, prompting Jim (who just isn't the same without the mustache and specs) to say "Smart girl!" and she recognized that the Riddler isn't a foriegner by his CHIN! "That doesn't look like a north asiatic chin!" (SERIOUSLY, Oh, such camp)

And just like in the early comics, she doesn't know Batman and Robin's identities, but they don't know hers either. Alfred does, but only because she thought he was a preacher and trusted he could "keep her secret as a man of the cloth"...it's all very weird and complicated. And the girl's saavy enough that she has her own secret compartment complete with motorcycle in her apartment, she had to be smart to build that crap.

She's sassy too. She likes to tease Batman and Robin and give groan worth quips to each villain, and just like Batman and Robin, it's clear she's having fun. When changing back into Babs Gordon after saving the dynamic duo as Batgirl, she says "I'm sorry to be so helpless" and smiles.

On the other hand... it's astonishingly sexist. On the DVD commentary for BTAS, a show creator said he specifically wanted Babs to slug somebody, because on the old TV show she'd always stand on a table and do dainty kicks. I thought this is weird, why is kicking allowed but punching not? But it's TRUE. She never, ever punches anyone. She always climbs on top of objects and kicks the thugs from up there. Either that, or she hits them with a stray object. But no punching. It's really noticable because she's in every episode, and she does it every single time. And the kicks really are quite dainty and ballerina like, probably due to the heels. I find it weird that apparently there was a ban on women punching thugs, but kicking is okay (I imagine she always climbed on top of stuff to do it because high kicks are very hard...at one point, Robin does hoist her up on his back to allow her to kick someone).

Also, Batgirl will say random weird crap pertaining to her feminity. Like in response to "It's lucky yow were there Batgirl" she says "A woman crimefighter has to rely on luck."

...What does that even mean?

And there's at one point when Batman refuses to use Batgirl as bait for Catwoman (it was Barbara's suggestion) because "I couldn't put that fair damsel in danger. No, Barbara, leave this to the men."

..yuh huh. (To her credit, Babs goes after Catwoman anyway, but she never calls out Batman for keeping stuff from her and being a sexist dick) (I should also mention this is the episode where Catwoman went on a crime spree because Batgirl was voted best dressed in Gotham. And she messed up all the woman's hair ("NOT our hair! Anything but that! Anything! They seriously said that), to which Batgirl responded "Wow, Catwoman really know's a woman's weakness!")

But I actually had to stop watching on episode where women take over the police force as part of an evil plan or something. It's basically the mayor replaces Gordon with evil chick because his wife won't DO HIS LAUNDRY OR COOK HIS DINNER UNTIL HE DOES HOW WILL HE SURVIVE. Then, though the women the evil chick hires to take the man!jobs aren't evil, they are incompetent due to being women and having all those nasty female bits. They don't prevent bank robberies because they're busy doing their makeup, and talk about shoe sales on the police radio instead of crime and CANNOT CATCH THE PLASTIC WIND UP MICE LOADED WITH EXPLOSIVES because to quote Batgirl (who seemed perfectly okay with the mice herself...as did the evil chick) "I should have known! You can't expect policewomen to catch mice!"

Cut to the police women standing on chairs and fainting over the mice.

I should also note that, as far as I got into the episode, it was an unusual one in that Batgirl hadn't done anything remotely competent. She hadn't been INcompetent, but unusually for the show, she had failed to figure anything out and she'd spent most of the episode complaining. And she'd said explicitly "I'll go with you in the Batmobile. The instruments in my Batgirl-cycle aren't quite as advanced". Well of course. The Batmobile was designed by a MAN after all, the Batgirl-cycle is for a lowly WOMAN. (if I was feeling generous, I'd say this was really because Batman was a millionaire, so obviously his instruments would be better- but this show follows no logic whatsoever, after all, a librarian can afford a secret compartment complete with high tech gadgets and a cycle in her apartment).

That's when I gave up. I know it's a campy TV show from the sixties, but come on.

Sixties Batgirl comics had two sexist stories that I know of, but they were never this bad. Thecomics Babs of that era was way more competent and kickass than TV Batgirl, thought TV Batgirl is enjoyable in her own way. Comics Batgirl at least didn't go out of her way to uphold stereotypes and constantly diss her own gender...other than in that one story, at least. ("My femininity is holding me back!)

I wonder how Yvonne Craig felt about having to say those lines, especially considering she appeared as Batgirl in a "Equal Pay for Equal Work" PSA?

I'm going to watch more episodes though. Adam West is HILARIOUSLY hammy, there are some amazing puns, and I love that Bruce introduces himself as "Millionaire Bruce Wayne" every single time. Way to brag.

Super Mega Batgirl review the fourth

2009-11-14T05:45:22Z

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS THIS ISSUE.

IT WAS GREAT.

OH STEPH, I LOVE YOU. YOU TOO BABS.

Seriously, I haven't smiled so much in reading a comic in forever. Screw you, Darrin! You can stop teasing me because this comic rocks!

So lets do our page by page review:

Page 1: Steph's smile when she says "I'll sleep when I'm dead". *GLEE* It's like she's perfectly encapsulated in that one panel. Steph is a doer, an action girl, she does not sleep, she kicks ass 24/7! And of course it's a very meta joke as well. Miller is totally meta with Steph a lot isn't he? Anyway, Steph is like my wish fufillment here. I wish I could blow off college and threaten criminals instead. Live my dreams, Steph!

Page 2-3: Garbett draws the belt hanging way too low here. But man, do I love Babs and Steph here. Steph is thirsty for justice! Babs is smiling confidently while uploading high tech gear! And she's being all dryly sarcastic to Steph, but you know she's secretly enjoying herself.

Page 4: Steph, you know you want to sing the Batgirl theme song while kicking ass. Don't lie to us.

Page 5-6: Babs is a quip stealer! Oh, I do so adore seeing her happy and funny again! There's an art switch here to Tim Levins, and I have to admit I like his art a bit better than Garbett's. It's a lot cleaner, and he's better at drawing hair. Though he gives Steph an increase in cup size that is a bit distracting. Okay, and so much love for that little girl adoring Steph and clapping for her? And Oracle's quip about Steph's "good side" while she's showing her butt to the gawkers? Oh, Babs, you rock.

Page 7: THAT LITTLE GIRL ENCOURAGING STEPH AND ADORING HER! Oh God, I wanted to cry (shut up, I didn't actually get teary...it was just so cute!) This...this is Steph. Happy and fun and kickass and a clear inspiration to any small girl who gets a glimpse of her defying the darkness of Gotham and being free and bouncy and serving justice. And Steph's reaction was just so great too. "People telling me I'm a good hero? MY WORLD HAS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!" Thank you, Bryan Miller, for hitting the nail on the freaking head, No one has ever encouraged or reinforced Steph's heroism, even though she DESERVED it. And now she's finally getting it and she's being hilariously shocked by it.

Steph winking at the girl and telling her Mom to keep her safe is going to be my new favorite icon. An utterly perfect panel. Steph is a strong, fun inspirational heroine. God, if only Cass and Charlie could get sorted out and Babs could run the BoP again- I'd be perfectly happy.

Page 8/9: Steph is a pirate, arr! And seeing Nick and Gordon engage in banter was oddly, pretty cool, especially how the Gordon's quip stealing is clearly genetic. And I love that Babs made Jim go green.

Page 10/11: Leslie! And hey, a reference to Gotham Gazette, guess Miller did read that after all. Babs lists Bruce as one of the people who helped her feel not alone after being shot...really? I recall she told him to piss off because he was laughing with the Joker after the incident and that is NOT COOL. And then later, she had to snap him out of HIS angst over it. I'm going to say she just listed him because he's dead and she misses him, so will attribute good things to him he didn't really do. Also, Steph can wiggle her ears...wow, I cannot even begin to do that. And I love her upside down cheeriness.

12/13: Ha! I love that the one who got purse snatched was Mrs. Brown and Steph has to chuck the purse at her Mom from a distance. That's a great little moment. Also, corpses! Oh no!

14/15/16: Steph lounging on the steet lamp eating a candy bar cracks me up! And Babs has a really nice moment with Wendy...and Wendy's unintentional zinger about superheroes in wheelchairs was a nice touch.

17/18: Hee! Steph's cheery little "hey you" to Gage is awesome, as is Gordon's reaction. And of course, Steph is sarcastic to the baddie (Livewire). I love her little fingersnap and eyeroll.

19/20: Steph takes down a superpowered baddie! And makes a lame pun while she's at it! That's my girl!

21/22: Babs and Steph hanging out and being friends and having a quiet moment for the win. And jeez, maybe I should dial back on that wish fulfillment thing, I would HATE to get up at six am and only have twenty minutes of sleep. Steph, you don't have to take early classes for college you know. Get afternoon ones, that way you can sleep all morning.

I wish the Cass and Charlie thing had been cleared up so I could give this issue a 5/5. But I can't call any issue perfect while my girls are being neglected for it, so we'll have to settle for a 4.5/5.

This was a fun, happy, lovely issue and just full of Steph and Babs goodness. It's great to see a fun book on the stands starring a purely positive girl hero- this is something DC needs to do more of (*coughBirdsofPreycoughCasstoo*) It was completely accessible too, and a great jumping on point for any girl or guy looking for a fun hero and a fun time. And Miller really GETS Steph- and he's starting to get Babs too, I'm happy!

Because I don't get Batgirl 'till Friday, I'll geek it up on the preview instead

2009-11-12T03:28:10Z

I meant to post this yesterday BUT I, well, didn't.

So here we go now.

Batgirl Preview

It tickled me to DEATH that that DKR mutant on the cover is randomly shouting the "What's your scene, baby, we really gotta know!" part of the theme song for Batgirl from the old 1960's TV series. I LOVE that theme song. It's TERRIBLE. I saw it on a youtube video and have been singing it ever since. In fact, back when we were speculating about Batgirl I would randomly include bits of the song in my post titles.
So this really made me giggle. And wonder if BQM is stalking my lj. (I wish! I'd have a list of demands!)

I love the panel where Steph snaps her book shut and is all "you know me, I'll sleep when I'm dead!" That smile! That casual joking around about tragic events! So STEPH! She is a doer, people, and she's always super confident and sassy! Man, I wish I could blow off college homework and kick bad guys in the face and hang with Babs. Steph is living my dreams.

And squee! Thirsty for justice! Babs and her dry sense of humor! You can tell she's enjoying Steph's cheeriness, she's just trying to maintain respectability.

Though seriously, that belt is going to FALL OFF. And I don't know if it's the colorist or inker or Garbett just not drawing Steph as well as he did for the character sketch...but someone's not doing that costume any favors. It's OKAY, but it could look a lot better, as both Noto and Garbett himself have proven.

I'm looking forward to this issue, it looks like a lot of fun, and the Batbooks really need fun right now.

Seriously though, ADDRESS that Steph and Babs still care about Cass and get the Charlie situation fixed. I'm going to repeat this until it happens. If you are truly stalking my lj, BQM, I demand you listen to my...demands! Seriously, like parsi put perfectly in her excellent post why do lovers of awesome female characters have to settle? Why do Charlie and Cass have to be shafted for Steph to shine? Why can't Babs run the Birds and Gotham and the world AND mentor Steph? I love them all, why can't I enjoy them all being friends and teaming up and being awesome together?

Also this made me happy:

"Before Stephanie became Batgirl, she definitely had a checkered past and not the highest success rate of being a hero," said Miller. "The whole world before this comic is saying, 'Stop doing what you're doing. We don't want you doing it.' But Stephanie didn't listen, because she's stubborn in the best kind of way."

But this didn't:

so it's certainly something that your girlfriend or daughter might like,

OH NO I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND OR DAUGHTER WHAT TO DO.

Also from the DC source Miller said: While very much not dead, wearing a goat skull as a helmet in Africa. It might have been a caribou skull.

It was an iba, for the record, which she got from a cairrage of gifts from the village.

Also: There’s no way Stephanie could have taken down a crocodile.

I SAY THEE NAY! Stephanie wins all battles against crocodiles.

Not a stunning resumé, to be sure

I SAY THEE NAY! Best resume ever.

As for the cover, it demonstrates exactly why Steph should put up her hair, and that is one incredibly phallic ship. But apparently that's just how Roxy rolls. But Roxy is an incredibly FUN and fitting adversary for Steph...I cannot wait. Seriously, Batgirl seems to be filling the niche of light hearted, easy to get into Batbook beautifully, and Steph is perfect for such things. *love*

That's all the silliness I have for one night.